Gourmet Heathen

Oysters

2011-05-15T11:05:00.000-04:00

Carnitas

2011-05-14T13:59:00.004-04:00

(Let's try to be mature here -- ok, ready?) First I boned a pork butt. (MATURE, PEOPLE.) I cubed it and placed it along with citrus, onion, bay, oregano, and cumin in my new really alarming and ghetto slow cooker for ~8 hours.
Took out the pork, pulled it. Reduced the fatty, citrusy braising liquid to a thick paste and tossed it work the pork. Broiled that, then served with warm tortillas, chopped onions and cilantro, guacamole, pico de gallo, some queso asadero, black beans (with onion, garlic, cumin, and bay) and some rice cooked in chicken stock with tomatoes and tumeric (and a little ground coriander).

Fresh pasta surprise

2011-05-14T13:56:00.005-04:00

Basic egg pasta dough.

Rolled out and hand cut into wide (and slightly ragged) noodles.

SURPRISE I FOOLED YOU. Egg on top, fried in olive oil. ahahaha.... (and chard poached in some stock from the boneless hen thing previously)

Toaster Oven Boneless Cornish Game Hen Stuffed with Foie Gras and Mushrooms

2011-05-04T23:22:00.013-04:00

I learned how to do this from the internet. It involves turning the whole thing completely inside-out as you cut away the bones, and then inverting the whole thing again. It's weird, no joke. It was my first time. It was hard, but not so hard; I accidentally cut a few holes in the skin and when I put the whole thing back together it didn't feel 100% situated. As you will see later it mostly comes out in the wash. I set aside the liver, which was massive on this hen, so I'm just going to call it "foie gras" for today.

Stock: All the other junk I boiled in water with onions, carrots, parsley, thyme, bay, peppercorns, and about a tablespoon of salt.

Stuffing: I processed the liver with mushrooms, parsley, and 1/4 tsp of white truffle oil.

I rubbed the skin with a little butter and parsley then tied it up. You can see it's starting to come apart a little bit. Then I roasted it IN THE TOASTER OVEN, YES!! at 350ºF with only the bottom coil on. Later on I turned it to 500 with only the top coil on. The timing needs work (see below) but I was trying to get it cooked through and then crisp up the skin.

I checked the center for 155ºF then I let it rest for a few. I then sliced it carefully on the bias and plated it onto spinach that I shallow-poached in some the stock I was working on above. As you can see the cross-section looks amazing.

Notes: The meat was perfectly done and the flavor of the filling was outstanding and worked so well in concert with the other parts. The skin was almost crispy at parts, but the timing needs to be better. I think next time I would either do multiple hens or a chicken, and in either case I would do it in a oven-safe skillet in the oven and use the timings I'm used to there. I would then deglaze the skillet with the stock to make a pan sauce. I can tell this would rock because the juices that were crusting onto the toaster oven pan smelled out of this world. In the above picture, I plated it onto cute little appetizer plates because I think it would make a cute appetizer, although in reality I was just cooking by myself so I lined up all those plates and ate them all in a row ahaha!!

Additional note: Even though it was a pain in the butt to bone it, I really feel like I got more than my money's worth of flavor out of this $4.50 bird.

Update: I did this again with a chicken and a few other variations. It seemed like the chicken would be easier in terms of being less tiny and finicky, but the added size made it difficult to wrestle and hold in the right position, so it ended up taking just as long to debone (about 30-45 minutes). For the stuffing I used a base of leeks, mushrooms, and garlic sauteed in butter with thyme and oregano, which I then processed to a fine paste with raw uncased Italian sweet sausages. I deboned, stuffed, and tied up the chicken into a cylinder -- while meanwhile making stock from the bones -- on day 1. On day 2 I roasted it on a v-rack breast down for 45 minutes at 375 F. I then flipped it and turned the oven to 500 F. Meanwhile I made a roux and whisked in stock to make a sort of chicken velouté. I cooked the chicken to an internal temperature of 160 F (I was shooting for 155 F), about 30 minutes, then let it rest. After letting the roasting pan cool a little bit, I threw a little butter in there and sauteed minced shallot. Then I added 50/50 stock and white wine and deglazed the pan thoroughly. After reducing this some, I strained it, defatted it, then whisked it into the velouté with a little lemon juice. Then I sliced the chicken into 1/2"-thick rounds and served it with the sauce along with kale poached in chicken stock and riced potatoes. A decent serving was 1 or 2 slices and the whole thing fed 4 moderately hungry eaters with minimal leftovers.

Styrofoam Box "Sous-Vide" Experiment #2: Pork

2011-05-04T23:18:00.005-04:00

I bought some "Country-Style Pork Ribs" -- a terrible cut that are neither ribs nor in the style of any country I'm aware of. Oddly, it includes meat both from the blade-end of the loin and from the shoulder (or butt), which is annoying because one is lighter and cooks faster (see below). Anyway, I bought it because it was really cheap and I had no idea how this was going to go.

I took the pork out of the package, rubbed it down with a mixture of fresh sage, salt, pepper, and butter, then placed it in a 1-gallon ziplock back and squeezed the air out. I then dropped it in, you guessed it, a styrofoam box filled with 145ºF water. After 2 hours, the temp went down to 135, so I refreshed it up to 145 and waited another 2 hours.

Meanwhile I toasted several peeled garlic cloves in olive oil with a pinch of red pepper flakes. I then added some more fresh sage leaves. I took that off the flame when the sage leaves started to crisp up and added a dash of white truffle oil.

I also cooked down some mushrooms for a good long time until they had released their juices and that had boiled off and browned them.

When I took the pork out of the bag it was ugly and wan-looking, which is to be expected, so I seared it in oil for about 2 minutes per side.

I mixed all the other junk withe some pasta, then I sliced the pork and put it on top.

Notes: The pork was very moist, tender, and savory with a nice bacon-y browned crust. There were a couple problems though: (1) there was a band of fat in the middle that had not fully rendered and was kind of wrong, and (2) the lighter meat was just a hair over done and the darker just a hair under. Also, in this particular dish it didn't really integrate well with the pasta thing, but I was just kind of making it up as I went along.

Further note: The next day I microwaved this to heat it up and the texture went from being moist and tender to more springy and slightly tough. I think maybe that after the water bath the balance of moisture in the meat is very particular and can be ruined by microwaving.

Styrofoam Box "Sous-Vide" Experiment #1: Flank Steak

2011-05-03T21:06:00.007-04:00

We selected a vacuum-packed flank steak from the supermarket and put it in this styrofoam box with water that was about 130ºF from the tap. We refreshed it from time to time with boiling water to maintain it between 125 and 130.
Meanwhile we boiled some turnips and started cooking down some mushrooms in butter.
We whipped the turnips with cream.

After 2 hours in the box, we took out the flank steak, seasoned it, and seared it for a few minutes on each side.

Then we sliced it to reveal perfect medium-rare.

Lastly, we deglazed the mushrooms with red wine and broth and stirred in a little beurre manié to thicken.
We served our stuff with some turnip greens sauteed with butter and onions.

Notes: The meat was perfectly done and bursting with juice and beefy flavor. It still had a substantial chew, though, akin to a chewy strip steak. I think for a more loose texture it would have to go a lot longer than 2 hours, which is consistent with what I see written elsewhere.

UPDATE: I did this same thing with a hanger steak, but let it go for 7 hours, updating the temperature every hour. It was in-cred-i-buhl. Tender as tenderloin and so rich and beefy.

2010 Roundup

2011-01-08T14:21:00.003-05:00

Paella (American-style?)

Orange curry pork tenderloin, corn with chili-lime butter

Roast leg of lamb with garlic and rosemary

Pork tenderloin stuffed with (a) apples and mustard and (b) garlic and rosemary

Remains of grilled lobster, clams, bluefish, and corn at The Place, an outdoor grill in Guilford, CT

Braised chicken breasts and fresh chanterelle mushrooms with reduced braising liquid and sauteed mustard greens

Flounder fillets with caper-white wine pan sauce over quinoa with kale and mushrooms

Chicken roasted with fresh oregano, potatoes, red onions, and whole garlic cloves

Thick halibut fillet seared in butter, with roasted lemon-olive oil green beans and boiled potatoes with parsley

Flounder fillets pan fried with garlic and mild chillies over brown rice and black beans

Roast Chicken with Lemon-Herb-Garlic Butter

2010-03-22T11:34:00.008-04:00

For the butter:

Multiplier per weight:
3-4 lbs, 1x
4-5 lbs, 1.5x
5-6 lbs, 2x
Over 6 lbs... OMG too big!

- 1 tbs butter, softened
- 1/4 tsp lemon zest
- 1/4 tsp lemon juice
- 1 tsp chopped parsley
- 1/4 tsp dried sage
- 1/4 tsp dried marjoram
- 1/4 tsp dried oregano
- 1/4 tsp dried thyme
- 1/4 tsp black pepper
- 1 small clove garlic, crushed

Combine all ingredients thoroughly, cover and refrigerate until using

For the chicken
Important: if your chicken has broth and/or salt added, SKIP step 2.

1. Separate skin from meat over the breasts and thighs using fingers or the handle of a wooden spoon
2. Pack about 1 tsp salt per pound of chicken on the breasts and thighs under the skin. Cover and refrigerate for many hours.
3. Divide the compound butter into several small bits and stuff them under the skin over the breasts and thighs. From outside the skin, press to spread out the butter.
4. Use a small paring knife to poke several holes in the skin areas that have thick and dimply fat deposits.
5. Preheat the oven to 375 F. Spray-coat a V-rack in vegetable oil and place it in a roasting pan.
6. Tie the legs of the chicken together and place it legs up on the v-rack. Roast for 40 minutes.
7. Turn the oven up to 450 F and flip the chicken over. Roast for another 15-30 minutes, depending on size, and check temperature frequently until the the thickest part of the breast registers 160 F.
8. Remove the chicken to a cutting board and tent with foil. Let rest 10-15 minutes.
9. For serving, I feel that small chickens are best sectioned, and larger ones are best carved.

Minimalism pt 2: Bread

2010-03-11T00:01:00.012-05:00

My first bread. *Swoon*. Like a science experiment gone right! Inspired by No-knead bread from the NY times.

Protocol:

1. In a large mixing bowl, mix 3 cups all-purpose flour + 1.25 tsp salt + 0.25 tsp yeast

2. *Stir* in 1.75 cups water (mix semi-thoroughly with a spoon, do not knead)

3. Seal and incubate 18-24 hrs at room temperature

4. Prepare a work surface or a clean dish towel with some flour. The dough will be very sticky, so use an oil-coated spoon or oiled fingers to scoop the dough onto the surface. Gently corral the dough into a ball, then cover with inverted mixing bowl and let sit for an hour or so.

4. Meanwhile, choose a good cooking vessel: something large, heat-tolerant and with a cover, like an enamel or cast-iron dutch oven. Put it in the oven and set it to 450 and let it robustly preheat for 30 minutes.

5. Toss some flour on the dough and gently turn your dough into the preheated vessel, cover, and bake for 30 minutes

6. Uncover and continue to bake to finish the crust, about 5-10 minutes. (This step may be a lot longer, up to 30 minutes, if you are using a rather thick vessel). It's done on the inside when the internal temperature reaches 200 F.

Crusty chewy flaky crust and sweet spongy airy interior.

Update: I also repeated this with 100% whole wheat flour (King Arthur). Excellent results. Thicker, but not dense. Still a very nice crust and chewy-sweet inside.

Update 2: ... and again with 50% white/50% wheat for great success. (... but oh my gosh the dough is SO sticky, so watch out!)

Minimalism, Meat, and Potatoes

2010-03-09T21:06:00.005-05:00

Let's not make this complicated. Nobody has time for that.

Ingredients:

- strip steak

- small potatoes

- salt and pepper

Instructions:

1. Boil potatoes. Add salt and pepper.

2. Add salt and pepper to steak. Sear on both sides.

Mmmmmminimalicious!

Dancing queen...

2010-02-22T11:06:00.014-05:00

There is a far of land to the North known to some intrepid travelers as Sweden. There, the sun never sets. There, the herring is bountiful. There, ABBA lives on. I journeyed to this mystical place and this is what I ate:

What you are witnessing here is a baked potato with shrimp salad on top. Feast your eyes on this beauty and take a moment to reflect. You may be

a) shocked
b) perplexed
c) appetized
d) aroused

If you answered (a) or (b), I was too the first time, but consider these famous and glorious combinations: savory & starchy, hot & cold, creamy & dry... and of course dill and more dill. If you answered (c), you may already be from Europe, or just on the right track. Finally, If you answered (d), you have probably forgotten your glasses and thought you were looking at another website (shame on you).

When I came home I went straight to recapitulating the phenomenon using mostly ingredients from IKEA (seriously). It is not a complex dish and the results are more fabulous than ABBA.

For the shrimp salad:

- 1 lb cooked and rinsed bay shrimp
Note: alternatively, 1 lb full size shrimp chopped works also
- 1/4 cup mayonnaise (homemade is better)
- 1/2 cup sour cream
- 1 tbs minced dill with extra for garnsih
- 1/2 small red onion, diced fine
- a very liberal spray of lemon juice

Please do not delay in trying this.

When you have become acclimated to this you can try the next level, which is mashed potatoes, shrimp salad, and a hot dog, wrapped in flatbread. This is often served from street vendors as an after hours snack and was featured on the show of an eminent and cranky chef on the Travel Channel. I made this at home as well, but it required immediate consumption without photography before it completely fell apart all over the place.

A few Thanksgiving afterthoughts

2009-11-27T14:59:00.004-05:00

Some thoughts for next year...

Turkey: Salt rub successfully enhanced juiciness and was less messy than brining. Roasting on both sides was tiresome but produced excellent results in the dark meat.

Gravy: Instead of making the gravy in the roasting pan after the bird was done, I made a gravy (roux + turkey giblet broth) while the turkey was roasting and then stirred in a deglazed reduction from the roasting pan to finish it. I found that this helped to save time and to reduce stress around carving time by moving some of the frenzied whisking to a less crowded time period.

Stuffing: I mixed stuffing from the bird with non-bird stuffing and baked it together while the turkey rested. Great results, but I wonder if stuffing the bird is really necessary? It seems like you could just throw on a 1/2 cup of turkey broth onto the stuffing and skip putting it in the bird altogether. One thing that was very convenient, however, was lining the cavity with cheesecloth to make an easily-removable stuffing package

Mashed Potatoes: Ricing produced smoother results than mashing and went quickly. For such a massive quantity, however, eyeballing the other ingredients is not the way to go: a hard and fast proportion of butter and milk would have been helpful.

All in all everything was great.

Shrimprovisation

2009-09-20T23:35:00.005-04:00

Just, ahem, you know, *toss hair back*, heh, working a little of my kitchen mojo on some shrimps... *slicks hair back*

Mojo Shrimp Tacos

- 1 lb 20ct shrimp, deveined and completely shelled
- 2 tbs olive oil
- 3-5 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/2 tsp cumin
- 1/2 tsp chili powder
- 1/4 tsp oregano
- salt and pepper to taste
- 1/2 tsp lemon juice and wedges for garnish
- warmed corn tortillas
- minced onion and cilantro for garnish

1. Heat olive oil in a large skillet over low-medium heat. Toss shrimp with salt and pepper. Saute the garlic, cumin, chili powder, and oregano in the oil for a 2-3 minutes.
2. Turn the heat to medium-high and add the shrimp. Saute until curled up and blushing, turn off heat, add lemon juice, THEN MOVE IN FOR THE KIS---- wait. Wait. This is wrong. I'm just not feeling it. Maybe you could climb onto this tortilla?
3. MOJO TIME.

Bonus recipe!

Gourmet Heathen Original Easy Healthy Weeknight/Any Night/I'm Hungry Brown Rice & Black Beans

About 4 servings

- 1 cup brown rice
- 1 1/4 cup chicken broth
- 15.5 oz can low sodium black beans
- 1/4 cup water
- 1 tbs cider vinegar
- 1/2 onion, diced
- 1 bay leaf
- 1/2 tsp cumin
- 1/2 tsp oregano
- 1/4 tsp cayenne
- black pepper

1. Sorry to ruin any mystique, but I usually cook rice in my $15 rice maker. Use the chicken broth instead of water. Also, I interrupt mine about 2 minutes early to prevent scorching and keep it moist.
2. Bring beans, water, vinegar, bay leaf, cumin, oregano, cayenne, black pepper to a boil. Reduce to simmer and stir in onion. Simmer partially covered until liquid is very thick.
3. Stir cooked rice into the black beans and serve.

Fungus

2009-08-16T19:10:00.005-04:00

A simple way to use dried mushrooms. Boil your dried mushrooms for 3 min, then let stand for 20. Rinse in cold water. Use the mushroom water to boil some soba noodles. Meanwhile, saute the mushrooms with bok choy. Then add soy sauce, sesame oil, and green onions. Drain and rinse noodles and mix with mushrooms.

Most elaborate chicken yet!

2009-08-09T20:37:00.004-04:00

"Hi, everyone! Here's a quick and easy recipe that's great for weeknights, and cleanup's a snap!" No. This recipe is quite fussy and makes a mess of the kitchen. It is pretty showy, though, and I do love FLAIR... *magician hands*...

Behold: stuffed chicken breasts. This recipe is a simplified version of a recipe in Cook's Illustrated which is in turn a simplified version of French recipes. Saving time and money is just SO the "in" thing right now, y'know, what with the economy and all, so I hope you don't blame me too much for cutting corners. (Don't worry it's still something of an ordeal.) Despite the shortcuts and ingredient reductions, it still takes advantage of a few crucial methods.

First, there is a slightly clever way of preparing the chicken breasts for stuffing: buttefly, pound flat, and trim to create a perfect rectangle for rolling! Kind of brilliant. Importantly, the extra chicken trimmings are processed into the filling, which gives it a great deal of integrity both in the skillet and on the palate. Finally, the product is finished with a classic lemon BUTTER sauce to keep everything moist and rich. (My sincere apologies if you thought this was another healthy meal)

Chicken Breasts Stuffed with Mushrooms and Spinach

Use normal-looking chicken breasts that are pretty close in size. Due to the heartiness of the filling and the richness of the sauce, expect to feed more people than you have chicken breasts.

- 4 medium chicken breasts, butterflied, pounded flat, and trimmed to a rectangle (see figure - MAY CONTAIN GRAPHIC MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR VEGETARIANS)

- 3 tbs vegetable oil - my first time using grapeseed oil - highest marks in all respects!
- 1/2 lb white mushrooms, chopped
- 1/2 lb baby spinach
- 2 cloves garlic, pressed
- 1 1/2 cups chicken broth
- some chopped parsely
- 2 tbs butter (you can cut this in half if you are concerned citizen)
- 3 tsp lemon juice
- 1 tsp dried thyme
- 1 tsp dijon mustard

1. Excite spinach with microwave radiation for 1 minute intervals, pressing out liquid between, until fully wilted. Chop.
2. Heat 1 tbs oil. Saute mushrooms on medium high until beginning to dry and brown, about 8 minutes. Add another 1 tbs oil and heat. Add garlic and saute for about a minute, then throw in the spinach, thyme, 1 tsp lemon juice, salt and pepper, and saute a few minutes more to evaporate remaining liquid. Set aside.
3. Thoroughly process chicken trimmings in a food processor and tranfer to a mixing bowl (mmm chicken paste.... sorry). Process the sauteed vegetables until finely minced then fold into the processed chicken. Add a few pinches of parsely, salt and pepper.
4. Press filling onto the chicken rectangles, roll them up, and tie with kitchen twine.

4.5 HALF TIME!! If you want to, you can put the rolled up chicken in the fridge for a little bit while you do other things, relax, mop your brow, drink some wine, etc..

5. Heat last tbs of oil in a skillet with a lid. Brown rolled chickens on all sides. Add chicken broth, bring to a boil, then turn heat to low and cover. They are cooked with the stuffing reaches 160 F. Takes about 15-20 minutes.
6. Remove stuffed chix to chillax on a cutting board in a foil hut. Whisk in mustard and reduce the broth to 1/2 volume on high while deglazing the pan. Take off heat and whisk in butter, 2 tsp lemon juice, a few pinches of parsely, salt, pepper. Remove the kitchen twine and slice the chix on a bias and serve with sauce. INTENSE!

Gourmet Heathen serving suggestion: Quinoa with asparagus and shallots

chicken... ::sigh::

2009-07-27T21:11:00.004-04:00

Chicken. Such a noble animal... not really. On the "too stupid not to be eaten" scale, it's just a fraction of a notch above fish.

Shallow-poached salmon

2009-07-12T20:32:00.008-04:00

Another phenomenal recipe from a certain snooty-nosed cooking magazine.

I don't want to reprint verbatim, so here is a a brief summary of the salmon: in a tightly covered skillet, simmer the fillets over a bed of lemon slices, shallots, and tarragon in a very shallow level of white wine and water. Removed the cooked fillets to rest, and reduce the cooking liquid. Strain the liquid and combine it with olive oil, honey, shallots, tarragon, and chopped capers. Lightly salt and pepper the fish and douse with awesome sauce. Boom. Flavor explosion. What I brought to the table: sauteed baby spinach and mushrooms with garlic, sesame oil, and a dash of crushed red pepper.

I like to crunch on the blackened tails.

2009-07-11T20:30:00.005-04:00

Nice food doesn't have to be complicated.

Broiled Spicy Garlic Shrimp

- 1 lb of large shrimp (which goes pretty quickly, so you might want to double up!), shelled, deveined, and patted dry
- 1 tbs olive oil
- 1 tbs lemon juice
- 1 tsp paprika
- 1/2 tsp cayenne (I'd say most people will find this medium-spicy)
- 2 tsp kosher salt
- 2 cloves of garlic, finely minced

1. Mix it all up! Then broil 2-3 minutes per side! That was easy.

Nice, Simple Fresh Tomato Sauce

Good for about 1 lb of pasta

- 4 tomatoes, peeled, cored, seeded, and chopped
- 1 tbs butter
- 2 tbs olive oil
- 1 small shallot, minced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/2 cup chopped basil

1. Saute shallots and garlic in butter and olive oil over low heat until fragrant, about 1-2 minutes.
2. Add tomatoes and simmer on medium for about 10 minutes
3. Add basil, and simmer for a few minutes.

Chickenprovisation

2009-07-09T22:32:00.005-04:00

Hi again! Yeah, I know, it's pretty soon. Too soon, probably. In fact, this recipe is not even done. Nonetheless I think it's going places. I could even use some input. In any case, let me show you what I have so far.

Roast chicken with carmelized onion jus

This recipe is work in progress. Nothing is nailed down quite yet. This much I know so far: MMM DELICIOUS.

Start off by prepping the sauce: Saute celery, red onion, and bay leaf in butter over medium-low heat until beginning to carmelize. Then add chicken broth, red wine, and balsamic vinegar. Bring to a boil and reduce to half volume, then set aside. Meanwhile, marinate bone-in chicken breasts in secret sauce.

Roasting went down in 3 stages: Skin side up; skin side down; then skin side up with sliced red onions. After it was done, I took the baking dish to the stove top and removed the chicken. Then I strained the prepared reduction into the dish and deglazed the fat and juices with the red onions in the baking dish while the chicken rested.

Then I split the breasts and spooned over the reduction and onions.

Yeah... so, it's pretty good. Succulent roast chicken with a nice sweet glaze and plenty of rich juice and sauteed red onions. I haven't quite nailed down the exact quantities, but it goes something like this.

It's so simple; It's so stupid; It's amazing.

2009-07-08T19:21:00.007-04:00

Oh my god, people, all you do it:
put the potatoes in ROOM TEMPERATURE oil -- only enough to cover, turn the heat to high, and boil for about 20 minutes, then you have AMAZING FRENCH FRIES. IT'S SO SIMPLE.

But seriously folks, what's going on here? This is a recipe from Cook's Illustrated, although they lay claim not to having invented it, but to having tested and perfected it. I won't reproduce here their biochemical analysis of why they think it works so well. It just does.

The directions are simple: Combine potatoes with enough room-temperature oil to cover, then boil on high heat until done, stirring gently once halfway through, with total boiling time approximately 20-25 minutes. Their proportions are 6 cups of oil (peanut oil preferred, but canola and vegetable are acceptable -- you can optionally add a small amount of bacon fat to sweeten the deal) to 6 medium sized Yukon gold potatoes in a large pot or dutch oven.

Oh yeah, that's the other weird thing: choice of potatoes. They spend a lot of time explaining that, although russets are preferred from traditional double-fry because of their substantial body, the more delicate Yukon golds are better for this gentler technique, although you have to be more careful with them while frying (hence only stirring once). Using russets will result in a less crispy, chewier fry.

As it was, these fries were also somewhat oddly substantive, but crispy enough! The yukon gold flavor was actually very pronounced and sweet, which was slightly unusual. Also, as you can see, the color is noticeably more orange. With salt and a nice dipping sauce, however, there is really no possible complaining you could do. The recipe even can be downscaled: I used 2 large yukon gold potatoes and about 2 1/4 to 2 1/2 cups canola oil in a medium saucepan and boiled for 20 minutes. The result was very satisfying and I would highly recommend this approach, exactly as they say, for easier, faster, less messy, cheaper and lower tech french fries.

Quinoa revelation

2009-07-01T17:02:00.002-04:00

Finally: an actual food post. This is it in a nutshell: QUINOA. In case you haven't already been made aware, quinoa is apparently one of the healthiest possible things you can eat. Your one-stop shop for protein and fiber. The best part? It doesn't taste like cardboard! Rather, it is very light. It does, however, benefit from substantial dressing-up to make an exciting dish.

Quinoa with Mushrooms and Herbs

This is so simple it hurts.

Serves 4 as a side dish

- 1 cup uncooked quinoa
- 1 1/4 cup vegetable or chicken broth
- 1 tbs butter and 1 tbs olive oil
- 1 medium onion, diced
- 2 ribs celery, diced
- 2 cups sliced porcini or similar mushrooms
- 1/2 tsp rubbed sage
- 1/2 tsp dried thyme
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp pepper
- 1 bay leaf
- 1/4 tsp truffle oil, or to taste

1. Cook the quinoa with the broth in a rice cooker, or in a saucepan as you would rice.
2. Meanwhile, melt the butter with the olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat until frothy. Saute the onion, celery, and bay leaf for about 3-4 minutes, then add the remainder of the ingredients EXCEPT the truffle oil. Saute until mushrooms are tender, about 6 minutes. Remove from heat and cover.
3. Stir in cooked quinoa and truffle oil, adjust seasoning if necessary.
4. Serve hot or warm.

I have also had excellent results using this method with different vegetables and 1 tbs curry powder instead of herbs. Enjoy!

Wine and Cheese, Summer 2009

2009-06-07T19:06:00.008-04:00

Sunday afternoon wine and cheese tasting. Five courses. I tried to snap some pictures, but in many cases the wine was quickly drunk and the cheese was mostly eaten!

1. Sparkling white with creamy cow's milk. Crusty bread and grapes.
Crisp... Peachy... Slightly sweet... & Creamy... Tangy...Slightly Pungent...
Mionetto Prosecco Brut NV (WE 89) from the Veneto region, Italy.
Langres cheese from the plateau of the same name in Champagne-Ardenne region, France. Washed with pinot noir grapes used to make Champagne and aged at least 5 weeks.

2. Sauvignon Blanc and goat's milk cheese. Crusty bread and sliced fennel.
Citrus... Mineral... Tropical... & Smooth... Earthy.... Goaty!
Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc 2008 (WS 91 and #40 of Top 100 in 2009; WE 90) from Marlborough, New Zealand.
Selle-sur-cher cheese from the Loire valley, France (home of perhaps the best sauvignon blanc). Rolled in ash with a natural mold rind.

3. Montsant and semi-firm, cheddar-style cheese. Oatmeal walnut bread and marinated olives.
Currant... Spice... Somewhat light... & Nutty... Hearty... Crumbly...
Caçanes Mas Donis Barrica Montsant 2005 (WA 91). From the village of Capçanes in the Tarragona region of Catalonia, in the northeast of spain. This montsant is a blend of old-vine garnacha and syrah.
Lincolnshire Poacher from Lincolnshire, England, is aged at least 14 months and resembles a cross between farmhouse Cheddar and Swiss cheese.

4. Pinot noir and stinky washed-rind cheese. Oatmeal walnut bread and fire-roasted almonds.
Berries...Cola...Mild tannin... & Bold... Richly creamy... BRUTALLY STINKY!!!
De Loach Pinor Noir 2007 (W&S 92 and "Best Buy"; WS 89 for 2006 vintage) is from the Russian River Valley in California.
The taleggio-style, raw cow's milk cheese, called "Grayson," is from Meadow Creek, Virginia, and is aged 4 months. American Cheese Society best in class 2008.

5. Tawny Port and Stilton. Sliced pears and wild blueberry creamed honey.
Sweet...Slightly smoky... & Crumbly... Silky... Luxurious...
Cockburn Tawny Port must be oaked at least 7 years in barrels to carry the name Tawny.
This Stilton is from the town of Colston-Basset in Nottinghamshire, England. During the making of Stilton and many other blue cheese, the rind is pierced deeply with needles to allow the blue mold permeate the cheese.

See you next season!

Teaser

2009-06-05T18:16:00.002-04:00

Coming soon...

Cuatro de Mayo

2009-05-04T21:14:00.004-04:00

Are you ready? I'm celebrating a day early. I don't really know anything about enchiladas, but these are good. The filling is zucchini, onion, jalepeno and corn. The enchilada sauce is like a bechamel sauce but with half chili powder, half flour. Credit to Bon Apetit.

UPDATE!!! Sorry I guess I forgot the recipe:

Filling
- 1 tbs butter
- 3 cups chopped zucchini
- 1 cup chopped onion
- 1 cups corn kernels
- 2 jalepeños ribbed, seeded, and diced
- 1/2 cup chopped cilantro

Sauce (some of which goes in the filling)
- 3 tbs butter
- 3 tbs chili powder
- 2 tbs flour
- 1.5 tsp cumin
- 2.5 cups milk
- 2 cups jack and cheddar cheeses, grated

Miscellaneous
- 8 warmed tortillas
- 1/2 corn kernels

0. Oven: become 350 F.
1. Saute onion and zucchini until slightly soft, about 3-5 minutes. Add remaining filling ingredients and set aside off heat.
2. Melt butter in a medium sauce pan until bubbling, then stir in chili powder, flour and cumin to make a paste. After a minute of stirring, add milk bit by bit to make a bechamel-like sauce. After all the milk is added, simmer the sauce until it is thickened, then stir in the cheese.
3. Add 1/4 cup sauce to the bottom of a baking dish and 3/4 cup to the filling. Wrap up the filling in the tortillas and place in the baking dish. Cover with corn kernels and remaining sauce. Bake for 45 minutes.

OH SNAP UPDATE NUMBER 2 BREAKFAST ATTACK
Scrambled eggs with leftover enchilada filling.

Egg hunt

2009-04-14T13:06:00.005-04:00

March kind of passed me by cooking-wise. I went to Maine and ate fistfuls of lobster and some other interesting things (crab and cheddar melt?) Now it's back to saving money.

Back at home in April, egg salad is not only a post-Easter classic, but also inexpensive and filling. I guess I like to have my little fun with the presentation.

Egg Salad "Sushi"

- 1 dz hard boiled Easter eggs, peeled and chopped coarse
- 1 medium pickle, diced fine
- 1/2 small red onion, diced fine
- 1 rib celery, diced fine
- 1 tbs dijon mustard
- 1/4 cup mayonnaise (or to taste)
- 1/4 sour cream
- 1 tsp paprika
- 1 tsp dill
- 1/2 tsp cayenne
- s&p

Time to get crazy with your bad self:
- hearty crackers (or how about toasted brioche slices)
- tomatoes for garnish (or get creative... grape halves?)
- curry powder, paprika, and cayenne for topping (how about cocoa powder? hmm... perhaps not.)

Wheeee egg salad. Of course, mixing it with silly flavors is fun, but it is perfectly awesome on a egg bun with a slice of tomato.

Fruit and/of Loins: An epically long discussion of sweet loins.

2009-02-08T10:18:00.012-05:00

Warning: if frank talk about loins offends you, please skip the introduction and proceed straight to the recipe below.

To settle the score with all of you sophomoric types out there, the term loins refers -- and has always in more sober contexts referred -- to the region of any four-limbed mammal below the ribs and above the pelvis. As one popular internet encyclopedia states so boldly and freely (pardon any blushing or any loss of appetite this may cause), "it has nothing to do with the penis." There, I said it. How it came to mean this, however, is another story.

With respects to cuts of meat, the tenderloin is a cylindrical muscle situated along the spine in the center of the loin section. The tenderness of this muscle, the psoas major, in livestock is theorized to derive from its disuse in quadrapedal translocation, only being used for organ scaffolding. Its second salient feature besides extreme tenderness is extreme leanness, making it one of the healthiest cuts, but *GASP* ALSO FORESHADOWING ITS (potential) DOWNFALL WHEN OVERCOOKED, making it stringy and dull. (oh no!)

Pork tenderloin is often overlooked because it is easily overcooked -- and because pink pork is an American cooking taboo. Succulent pinkness is a must for flavor and is entirely safe; the trichinosis parasite, should it be in your pork, dies at 137 F; perfect pink center is parked between 140 F and 145 F; and all flavor and juiciness is lost past 150 F. This narrow window of success may account for pork tenderloin's diminished popularity when compared to pork shoulder roasts, roast chicken, or various beef roasts. These roasts are both larger and fattier, allowing for more wiggle room in cooking time. Pork tenderloin has large surface area to volume ratio, meaning it cooks in under 20 minutes, with almost no fat to keep it moist.

At this point, however, I think you can see the key point I'm trying to make. Pork tenderloin may be overlooked, but it has many excellent quaities nonetheless. Maybe because it is overlooked, it is extremely affordable ($4-7/lb). With a little attention, it cooks very fast and is incredibly tender and is also one of the healthiest and leanest cuts there is. It pairs well with a wide variety of flavors and can be cooked in a number of interesting and impressive ways -- stuffing being one of the most dramatic.

I'm going to toot my own loin here for a second and say this Gourmet Heathen original is phenomenal tasting, and for an intimate dinner party would be impressive, yet deceptively easy and fast to make. I returned to a previously established maxim, "Savory+Sweet=Delicious Meat," for inspiration and came up with a balsamic-tangerine glaze, accented with ginger and soy sauce. The glaze is used to baste the pork as it roasts, making a sweet, dark crust, and reduced with the roast juices to make a pungent and sweet sauce which accompanies the sliced meat. Soaking in a brine/marinade enhances the juicy tenderness of the tenderloin, and careful use of a thermometer ensures perfect doneness. Serve with curried rice and green salad with Asian-style vinnaigrette.

Pork Tenderloin with Tangerine-Balsamic Glaze

This recipe adds no fat during cooking.

Serves 4 gingerly, or a happy 2 with leftovers

The tender porks
- 1 pork tenderloin, 1-1/4 to 1-1/2 lbs, well-trimmed of fat

Brine/Marinade (some people call this a brinerade)
- 1 quart water
- 1/4 cup salt
- 1/2 cup sugar
- Juice of two tangerines and the spent rinds
- 1/2 cup soy sauce

Glaze
- 1 clove of garlic, pressed
- 1 tbs fresh grated ginger
- 1 tbs tangerine zest (from about 3 tangerines)
- 1/3 cup tangerine juice (from the same zesty fruits)
- 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
- 2 tbs soy sauce
- 2 tbs honey

1. For the brine: Whisk together salt, sugar and water, then add juice, soy sauce, and spent rinds. Combine with pork either in a bowl or a large bag and cover/seal. Refrigerate for 1-2 hours.

2. For the glaze: Whisk together all ingredients and bring to boil in small saucepan or saucier. Reduce volume by about 50% (about 10 minutes). Strain solids and reserve, return liquid to sauce pan (covered, heat off for now). To the solids add 1-2 tbsp of the liquid -- this will be used to lacquer the roast.

3. For the roast: remove the roast from the fridge 30 minutes before roasting and preheat the oven to 450 F. Heat a large cast iron skillet to searing hot. Remove the roast from the brine and sear on all sides and ends in the skillet, carefully lifting and turning with two sets of tongs, about 3-5 minutes per side. Turn off the skillet heat and carefully brush or spoon on the chunky glaze from step 2, then turn the roast, and repeat for all sides. Retain about 1/3 of the chunky glaze for re-glazing and stick the skillet ensemble in the oven.

4. After 10 minutes, check the temperature, apply more glaze, and turn. Return the roast to the oven and check every 2 minutes until temperature is between 140 F and 145 F in the thickest part of the roast.

5. Remove roast to a cutting board with juice wells (unlike mine) and tent with foil. Allow to rest for 2-3 minutes, while bringing up the liquid glaze to a simmer. Slice the roast on a bias into 1/2 inch medalions and move to platter. Add the roast juices to the glaze and simmer for 1 minute, then serve with the sliced pork.

Enjoy thoroughly. Save some glaze with the leftovers to dip pieces of pork in the next day. You can, of course, use other citrus as well. In this, in fact, I used satsuma mandarins. This dish would be really great with a Reisling. I've also included some additional recipes for side dishes below. I feel like I have to end this entry with a perfunctory "loin-related" remark... but somehow, this time, I think that would just cheapen everything.

Supplementary Recipes:

Curried Brown Rice

Serves 4 as a side

- 1 large onion, diced fine
- 1 cup brown rice
- 1 tbs curry powder
- 2 cups stock of choice (chicken is probably optimal)
- 1/2 tbs olive oil
- cilantro for garnish

1. In a large pot, saute onions in olive oil until getting soft, about 3-5 minutes.
2. Stir in curry powder and saute for 1-2 minutes
3. Add rice, and saute for 1-2 minutes.
4. Add stock, bring to a boil, stir, then cover and reduce heat to low.
5. Liquid will absorb in about 30 minutes. Fluff and let rest, covered, off-heat for 5 minutes.

"Fusion" vinnaigrette

- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
- 1 tsp sesame oil
- 1 tsp lemongrass
- 1 clove garlic, pressed
- 1 tsp ginger, finely grated
- 1 tsp oriental mustard powder
- 1 tsp powdered wasabi or horseradish
- 2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp pepper

1. Whisk all ingredients thorougly and refrigerate briefly before using.

Resolution killing party

2009-01-25T02:00:00.008-05:00

Appetizers

Watercress deviled eggs with seasoned sea salt
Endive spears with Gorgonzola and honey
Asiago and shallot crostini with tapenade and shaved Parmesan
Not shown:
Blanched vegetables, bread sticks, and paprika aioli
Blood orange vodka tonics

Main course:
Roasted bell pepper and fresh mozzarella ravioli with sun-dried tomato-basil-cream sauce (similar to this recipe, but better)
Cannellini and wild mushroom "Shepherd's pie" with garlic mashed potatoes (recipe below)
Haricot vert with shallots and lemon butter
Spinach salad with fried red onions, feta cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette
Choice of Malbec; Chardonnay

Dessert:
Point Reyes blue cheese with baguette
Fresh fruit, ice cream, sorbet
Prosecco

Recipe time:

White bean and mushroom "Shepherd's Pie"

Makes one casserole (half of what is shown above)

- 1 lb yukon gold potatoes, peeled and chopped
- 1/2 cup cream, warmed
- 5 (3+1+1) tbs butter, divided
- 1 tbs flour
- 1 rib of celery, diced fine
- 1/2 cup frozen peas
- 1 lb mushrooms, chopped (suggestion: oyster and shitaake mushrooms)
- 1/2 cup vegetable broth
- 1 head + 4 pressed cloves garlic
- 1 cup white beans
- 1 tbs chopped fresh thyme + extra for garnish
- 1/2 cup pearl onions chopped
- 1 tbs olive oil

1. In a pot with water to cover, bring beans to a boil, add thyme, then reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 1-2 hrs, adding salt and pepper halfway through. Add water periodically as needed to keep beans submerged.
2. Meanwhile, heat oven to 400 F, partially peel head of garlic and trim the top to expose a little of each clove. Partially wrap in foil and roast for 1 hr, then squeeze out cloves and set aside.
3. Also meanwhile, thoroughly combine 1 tbs flour and 1 tbs butter. Saute celery and onion in 1 tbs olive oil and 1 tbs butter. After a few minutes, add mushrooms and peas, sauteing until mostly done. Then add vegetable broth and simmer for another few minutes. After concentrated a little, remove from heat and stir in butter-flour mixture to make a thick mushroom sauce. Set aside.
4. Boil potatoes until completely tender, about 15 minutes, then drain, mash, stir in raw and roasted garlic, 3 tbs butter, and cream. Season with salt and pepper.
5. Drain beans and turn into a casserole dish. Layer mushrooms on top, then spoon in mashed potatoes. Smooth top, pattern with fork tines, then bake for ~45 minutes or until top is browned. Garnish with thyme.

Mmm... and I was being so good, too.

Soup for you

2009-01-07T18:40:00.010-05:00

This is a first for Gourmet Heathen - an entry with no pictures. It's just this: soup is not very photogenic. I will not ask you to look at a large circle of color and expect you to glean understanding of flavor and aroma. Use your imagination and enjoy two soups I made recently.

Turkey Chili

Get your protein on.

Makes 4 meaty servings

- 1 lb ground turkey
- 1 onion chopped
- 1 small rib celery diced
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 serrano chiles
- 3 tbs oil
- 2 bay leaves
- 1 tsp cumin
- 1/2 tsp coriander
- 1/2 tsp cayenne
- 1 tsp paprika
- 1 tsp oregano
- 1/4 tsp sage
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp pepper
- 1 tbs tomato paste
- 1 28 oz can whole peeled tomatoes
- 1 can kidney beans, drained but not rinsed

1. Combine herbs, spices, salt and pepper. Heat oil until shimmering. Saute onion, garlic, celery, chiles, bay leaves and 1 tsp spice mixture until onions are softened, about 5-8 minutes.

2. Stir in tomato paste and saute for 3-5 minutes until browned.

3. Stir in turkey while breaking it into pieces. When turkey is beginning to brown and lose its pinkness, add the tomatoes with their juice. Use the spoon to break up the tomatoes and further break up the turkey.

4. Add remaining spices, bring to a boil, then partially cover and simmer on low for 15 minutes. Stir in kidney beans and return to simmer for 15-30 minutes until free liquid has mostly simmered away and the texture is thick and consistent.

Garnish with sour cream, cheese, green onions, etc. Or not.

Pureed Cauliflower and Vegetable Soup

If you haven't had this soup before, it is surprising rich in texture and flavor. This is an easy and fun immersion blender recipe.

Makes 4-6 servings

- 1 head cauliflower, chopped
- 4 ribs celery, chopped
- 1 small onion, chopped
- 32 oz vegetable broth
- 8 oz water
- 1 tbs olive oil
- 1 tbs butter
- 1 tsp dried thyme
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp pepper

1. Melt olive oil and butter in a large stock pot and saute vegetables with salt and pepper for 5 minutes, stirring regularly until everybody begins to soften.

2. Add liquid and thyme and bring to a boil. Simmer partially covered until all the vegetables are tender, about 12 minutes. Thoroughly blend with an immersion blender.

Serve with hot sauce and parmesan cheese.

Cauliflower and lentils

2009-01-04T21:26:00.009-05:00

Guys, it's a new year. This means resolutions. I've been seeking healthier fare -- low fat, high fiber, and protein too. This cauliflower dish bursts with complex curry flavor that will surprise you. Lentils are rich in texture and are profoundly nutritious. Serve with basmati rice and peas.

Curried Cauliflower and Lentils

- 1/2 head of cauliflower, chopped
- 1/2 cup of lentils, rinsed
- 2 cups water
- 1 small onion, chopped
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 serrano chiles, seeded, ribbed, minced
- 1 tbs tomato paste
- 2 tsp curry powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 tbs olive oil
- 2 tsp cumin
- 1/4 tsp cayenne
- 1/2 tsp ground ginger
- 2 tbs lemon juice
- 1 tsp sugar
- 1 tbs chopped cilantro
- additional lemon and cilantro for garnish

1. Bring water to a boil with lentils, onions, salt, and curry powder. Reduce to a simmer and cover, continue on low heat for 45 minutes, until the lentils are very soft and the liquid has become saucy.
2. Stir in cauliflower, chiles, and tomato paste and simmer covered for about 10 minutes until the cauliflower is tender, but not mushy. Remove from heat and keep covered.
3. Heat oil is a small sauce pan over medium. Saute garlic with cumin, ginger, cayenne for a few minutes until garlic is soft, then add this mixture to the curry. Stir in lemon juice, sugar, and cilantro.

The list of ingredients in this recipe is slightly long, but its substantially simplified from any kind of traditional South Indian recipe. Such authenticity I find it nearly meaningless to attempt -- I am highly satisfied with the combination of flavors in this recipe and busy enough with the number of ingredients. Warm, spicy, aromatic, robust, rich, and filling. (And vegan.) A votre sante.

Goose is cooked (hah haaa. sigh)

2008-12-26T16:40:00.005-05:00

I love going home for the holidays because everyone cooks elaborate things for me and I can have two hands on the camera.

Prelude: Goose liver sauteed in butter with mushrooms and onions

First phase: high temperature roast, and removing fat from the pan (more on that later)

My job: opening the wine. Cote du Rhone for the win.

Making spaetle: pressing an eggy dough with thyme and parsely through a colander to make little dumplings.

The dumplings are boiled, then cooled in ice water, then browned in butter.

Goose with herbed spaetzle and pickled red cabbage.

Epilogue: goose fat is a prized cooking fat. We gave it a spin on some signature home-fried potatoes.

Melts like butter and cooks like a dream. Sliced potatoes and onions with cracked pepper and paprika.

A late lunch.

Monster Holiday

2008-12-25T00:45:00.003-05:00

Umm.. I don't know how else to explain this madness: my dad knows a guy. These are king crab legs shipped to us from an undisclosed source in Alaska. They are about as long as my arm and succulent and delicious along the entire length. Not a traditional Christmas Eve meal, but pretty heavenly and certainly unique.

In this picture you see approximately 1/4 of the total stock.

Yes, that is a normal sized dinner plate.

Five of us were only able to eat 1/3 of the shipment.

Um.. Yeah. Words cannot explain the insanity.

Beer: it's what's for dinner.

2008-12-04T18:43:00.006-05:00

I am continually shocked/amused by the idiocy of cooks.com and allrecipes.com. *I GUESS* there are okay recipes somewhere in there, but you have to sift through hundreds of recipes like this:

Pork chops and gravy

serves whatever

ingredients: pork, instant gravy

1. Cook pork until done
2. Make instant gravy like it says on the back of the packet.

(and then there'll be something like this: MY FRIEND CHERYL MADE THIS ONCE AND I JUST LOVED IT TO DEATH AND SAID CHERYL YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THE RECIPE FOR THAT I JUST LOVED IT TO DEATH. ... and then I punch myself in the face for having viewed it)

Jello pie anyone? Anyway, after searching for some early winter comfort food, I actually found a gem on one of these sites. I tweaked it a little to add some more zest and of course a lot more gravy!

Pork Chops and Beer Gravy

YES!! BEER GRAVY!! Let the madness begin:

- Thick and delicious bone-in pork chops: 4 small, 3 medium, or 2 large (I think rib-chops are the best - a richer and deeper flavor than center cut!)
- Flour, and 1/4 tsp each of paprika, sage, coarsely cracked black pepper, cayenne pepper, garlic powder.
- 1/2 cup beef broth
- most of one beer (about a cup - let's not split hairs, shall we?)
- 1 tsp cornstarch, made into solution with about as much water
- a healthy amount of salt
- 1-2 tbs of canola oil
- 1 large onion, sliced thick and quartered

1. Trim pork chops and press a good amount of salt into all sides. Combine flour with seasoning. Heat oil in a large skillet until frying hot.
2. Dredge pork chops in flour one by one and drop into hot oil. Sear until medium brown on both sides, about 3-4 minutes per side.
3. Throw in onions and stir while cooking until beginning to soften and brown.
4. Add liquid to the pan, reduce heat to medium-low, and cover. Cook until pork chops are done by knife-stab test, turning halfway through, about 5-8 minutes.
5. Remove pork and onions to a plate to rest, tented with foil. Turn up the heat and reduce the liquid, adding cornstarch to thicken. After a few minutes, when the sauce is thickened, serve pork chops and onions and smother with delicious beer gravy. OMG!!

While this IS as amazingly delicious and satisfying as it sounds, this IS NOT really as unhealthy as it sounds. You can find a lean cut of meat, and use fat free beef broth and you really have a very low fat meal. I recommend, however, that you make up for the lost fat calories with plenty of beer calories. Stock up for the winter, noam sayin'?

Blueberry waffles

2008-11-05T11:41:00.002-05:00

Protip: frozen blueberries are the way to go. Slap a little berry jam on top there, too.

Once in a long while/The joy of meat.

2008-10-26T19:33:00.011-04:00

It saddens me to bring this to you with such terrible pictures. My camera is still broken, so I must continue to torture you with my phone photography in all its fish-eyed, pixelated, color-artifacted glory. As it is, I am forced to violate the long-heralded literary maxim of "show don't tell" and just tell you straight out that this food is off the proverbial hook. This is one of my favorite meals, and one that you can only eat once in a long while. One sentence summary: Juicy, rare pepper-crusted ribeye with red wine reduction and mushrooms over horseradish mashed potatoes and lemon garlic green beans oh damn I want to eat it all over again. (Ok so maybe that wasn't a sentence.)

On with the recipeeees...

Pureed Potatoes with Horseradish and Tarragon

Since this recipe depends entirely on the size of your food processor, the strength of your ingredients, and your horseradish tolerance, I'll leave the quantities up to you.

- white potatoes, peeled and chopped
- prepared horseradish
- milk
- butter
- vegetable stock
- fresh or dried tarragon
- salt and pepper

1. Boil potatoes until completely soft, then drain and allow to cool slightly
2. Pulse potatoes in a food processor until crumbled, then add remainder of ingredients and puree.
3. Taste for seasoning and adjust if necessary.

Pepper-Crusted Ribeye with Mushrooms in Red Wine Sauce

serves 1-2 or more depending on how much you want to share

- 12-16 oz extra marbly boneless ribeye, fat trimmed
- 1 tbs olive oil
- 1 tbs butter
- 1/4 cup medium-bodied, fruity red wine (+ 1-2 glasses for you to drink)
- 1/4 cup beef stock or substantive vegetable stock
- several Crimini mushroom caps, sliced thin
- 1 tbs green or black peppercorns, cracked with a hammer or coarsely with a grinder
- coarse salt

0. No, you cannot eat the steak raw.
1. Firmly press salt and pepper into all sides of beef and drizzle with olive oil. Preheat a pan to ridiculously hot, either totally dry or with a few tsp of canola oil (do not use a nonstick pan).
2. Sear the crap out of that steak until it's almost black on both sides, and hopefully still red in the middle (note: this recipe will not give you the fabled steakhouse crust. You will need more technology for that, such as a wood-burning brick oven or a furiously hot grill, and the willingness to coat your steak in melted butter before cooking - I'm not making this up). Let the steak rest on a plate under foil and turn off the heat on the pan.
3. Wait a couple minutes, then add the butter to the pan. After it foams up and dies down, saute the mushrooms until softened, then add stock and wine, and drippings from the steak. Return the heat to high, deglaze the pan and reduce.
4. Slice the steak thin on a bias against the grain, serve over mashed potatoes with sauce.
5. Congratulate yourself if it is perfectly done, or grumble/apologize if you overdid it.
6. Profit!

Green beans: throw them in the oven with Penzey's lemon pepper and olive oil for 20 minutes at 350.

Until next time, beef, I say goodbye. ... Good night ... beef... i... i miss yoouuuuu

American as apple pie

2008-10-12T16:27:00.008-04:00

If you haven't already been, it's time to think about the future of our country. To me, this means reclaiming American cuisine. There are a few canonical American dishes for which everyone has their own recipe. These are mine. Not necessarily special, but very satisfying. Sorry about the horrendous pictures, my camera broke, so I had to use my phone.

Baked Macaroni and Cheese

- 1 lb shaped pasta - my favorites are bowtie, pinwheel, and shells
- 1 cup grated sharp cheddar
- 1 cup grated gruyere
- 1/2 cup grated parmesan
- 4 slices of sandwich bread, such as potato bread, made into bread crumbs in a food processor
- 2 cups milk
- 3 tbs flour
- 3 tbs butter + extra to grease baking dish
- 2 bay leaves

1. Preheat oven to 400 F and bring a large pot of water to boil. Meanwhile, gently simmer milk and bay leaves for a few minutes then set aside and remove bay leaves. Salt water and add pasta. When it's a few minutes shy from complete doneness, drain and rinse thoroughly with cold water, then set aside in a large bowl.
2. Meanwhile, make bechamel sauce: melt butter over medium-low heat in a medium saucepan until foamy, then whisk in flour. Stir continuously until mixture browns, then slowly whisk in milk a few tbs at a time until you have a smooth milky sauce.
3. Stir cheese into sauce, then add to pasta and combine with parmesan cheese, salt, and pepper. Turn into a buttered baking dish and top with bread crumbs. Bake for about 15-20 min.

Patriotic Potato Salad

- 1 lb red, white, and purple small potatoes
- 1 egg
- 1 tbs white vinegar
- 1 tbs lemon juice
- 1/2 cup canola oil
- 1/2 cup extra light olive oil
- 2 tbs dijon mustard
- 1/2 red onion, diced extra fine
- 1 celery rib, diced extra fine
- several cornichon, chopped
- 1/4 cup sour cream
- 1 tbs pickle juice

1. Make mayonnaise: combine egg, vinegar, lemon juice, salt and pepper in a food processor and pulse to mix. While continuously running, dribble in oils until fully emulsified. Refrigerate until next use.
2. Boil potatoes in a large pot until completely tender to a paring knife stab. Drain potatoes and allow to cool mostly.
3. Quarter potatoes and combine with remainder of ingredients in a large bowl. Add mayo to taste, about 2/3 of batch is good.

Side dish week continues...

2008-09-14T21:00:00.011-04:00

Cocina tradicional mexicana. I've had some amusements with this book. I haven't spoken Spanish since high school, so sometimes my recipe interpretations are a little nutty. I was convinced a recipe for margaritas was calling for chopped ice cream. hielo = ICE, not ICE CREAM (helado). Ooops. It has the best subtitle though: Platillos para chuparse los dedos - "finger-lickin' good dishes"! Or, more literally, "Plates for which one sucks one's own fingers." Thaaaat's awkward.

It's kind of a difficult text anyway, since they often call for unusual animal parts, or quite frequently a whole animal, and sometimes they want it alive. More than one recipe calls for digging a pit in the ground, something my neighbors below would not appreciate. In any case, I can rely on it for a slightly less gringo interpretation of some staples, though I always opt for oil when it calls for "aceite o manteca."

This classic derives its name from Spain, and it's perhaps most associated with Cuba, rather than Mexico. I just like it because it doesn't require a whole live calf.

Moros y cristianos con plátanos (Moors & Christians)

Translated and adapted from Cocina tradicional mexicana by Blanca Nieto

Serves 4-6 (or 1 all week)

- 1 cup rice, rinsed
- 1 can black beans
- 1.5 cups chicken broth
- 1 small onion, diced
- 2 cloves garlic (or "teeth of garlic" in Spanish, hee hee), sliced
- 4 tbs canola oil
- salt
- 2 plantains (or bananas if you are a guero like me) sliced on bias

1. Heat 2 tbs oil in a large saucepan. Add rice and half of garlic and fry until rice begins to change color, about 5 minutes. Add chicken broth, salt, and bring to a simmer. Turn heat to low, cover, and cook until all the broth is absorbed, about 15 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, bring beans, other half of garlic, and onion to a boil in a medium saucepan. Reduce heat and simmer until onions are very soft, about 10 minutes.
3. Also meanwhile, heat 2 tbs oil in a large, deep skillet. Fry plantain/banana slices for a few minutes on each side. Remove to a wire rack or paper towel to rest, but reserve banana oil in pan.
4. Transfer beans and onions to the banana skillet. Cook over high heat until most of the liquid has evaporated and the beans are beginning to break up. Reduce heat to low, add rice and mix thoroughly. Cook while stirring until until thoroughly mixed. Serve all week long.

(Pictured with sear-roasted chicken breast in secret marinade. After marinating, sear on each side in an oven safe skillet until darkly browned, then transfer to oven and roast at 400 F until done by thermometer.)

Bonus recipe:
Simple Avocado Salad

Serves 4

- 2 medium avocados, sliced
- 2 medium tomatoes, chopped
- 1 medium shallot, minced
- 1 tbs olive oil
- 2 tsp lemon juice
- salt and pepper

1. Combine and enjoy!

Side Dish Extravaganza

2008-09-13T23:00:00.009-04:00

Sometimes the same steamed vegetables just don't cut it, so I tried to pull together a few recipes for some more eyebrow-raising side dishes (aiming, of course, to raise both, rather than just one). Although on this particular evening I stuck with a humble out-of-the box sort of entree (chicken sausage thrown in a cast iron skillet with bell peppers and onions), "In real life" I would see these sides standing up nicely next to something much more festive, like turkey or ham.

Mashed Potatoes and Parsnips with Toasted Paprika and Parsley
Simplified slightly from Cook's Illustrated

Serves 4, or as many as 6 with smaller portions as the parsnip flavour is very rich.

- 1 lb parsnips, peeled, cores removed, diced (yields about 1/2 lb at the end of the day)
- 1 lb white or yukon gold potatoes, peeled and quarted
- 4 tbs butter
- salt
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1/4 cup cream
- 1/2 cup chicken broth
- 1/4 chopped parsley
- 1.5 tsp paprika

1. Melt butter in a large saucepan on medium. Once foam has subsided, add parsnips and saute until soft and browned, about 10 minutes.
2. Rinse potatoes several times in cold water until it runs clear. Add to pot with chicken broth, salt, and cover. Turn heat to low and simmer until potatoes are very tender, about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.
3. Toast paprika in a small skillet, dry, for about a minute. Combine dairy and warm in microwave for 30 seconds.
4. Remove heat from potatoes/parsnips. Mash gently with potato masher. Stir in paprika, dairy, and parsley, and serve immediately.

Roasted Green Beans with Garlic, Red Onions, and Lemon Butter

Serves 4

1 tbs butter
1/2 tbs olive oil
2 cloves of garlic, slivered
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced,
1 lb firm green beans, washed and ends snapped or cut off
1 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp lemon zest
salt and pepper

1. In advance, thoroughly combine butter, lemon, lemon zest, salt, and pepper, roll into a piece of plastic wrap, and refrigerate.
2. Preheat oven to 400 F. Toss remaining ingredients in a oven-safe dish and roast for 20-30 minutes, depending on the thickness of the green beans and your desired level of doneness - although firmer green beans are very nice especially if they are fresh.
3. Top with slices of lemon butter. Serve warm.

Oh yes, there's another great side dish: 2005 Bordeaux.

More low-brow pizza action

2008-09-05T22:30:00.006-04:00

Pizza is a topic of much debate. Still, while people violently disagree on what makes a truly fine pizza, most will come together and enjoy the same low-brow pizza-inspired creations that come out of the freezer section of your local gas station. Why is this? Among other things, connoisseurship and drunken fistfights over regional cuisine all rely on the concept of authenticity. There is no authentic pizza-bagel, no authentic french bread-pizza, because no one is willing to lay claim to them - to seize the bagel and say with verve, "This is my style - no - the BEST style of pizza bagel!" Presumably, they are embarrassed.

I am not too proud to seize the low-brow pizza creation. My last innovation/abomination introduced California pizza stylings to the bagel. As if that weren't fussy enough, I will now tackle the french-bread pizza platform, this time, with a more continental air. Essentially, I'm clumsily transforming store-bought rustic bread into white pizza, a lighter variant that replaces tomato sauce with olive oil and garlic. To make up for this crude trick, I lace the olive oil with sage and garnish the creation with crispy fried sage leaves. The other fun thing: I do it in the broiler so it only takes 5 minutes.

Sage-Infused White Pizza on Rustic Bread

Serves 4 as an appetizer

- 1 foot-long section of crusty white bread, such as a softer french loaf or so-called rustic peasant loaf
- several thin slices of tomato, seeds removed
- 2 cloves of garlic, pressed
- 1 tbs chopped fresh sage
- several intact sage leaves
- 3 tbs olive oil
- salt and pepper
- 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella
- 1/8 cup shredded parmesan

1. Warm 2 tbs oil over low heat in a small saucepan or skillet with chopped sage and garlic. Increase heat to medium, and when garlic begins to sizzle, stir for about a minute, then remove from heat and allow to cool. Season with salt and pepper.
2. Halve bread and spoon oil mixture liberally to cover the open surfaces. Layer cheeses and tomato slices. Broil for 5 minutes, or until cheese is bubbly and beginning to brown.
3. Meanwhile, heat remaining 1 tbs oil over medium-high heat, and fry sage leaves until crispy, about 3-4 minutes. Remove to paper towels.
4. Allow pizza to cool slightly, then cut into sections and adorn with sage leaves.

Pizza regionalism may rage on, but try my creation and tell me it's not the bomb dot com. Wow, that rhymed a lot.

My secret sauce exposed.

2008-09-04T21:05:00.010-04:00

Nothing adds mystique like the word "secret." The Secret Garden, Pop Secret popcorn, Secret deodorant, you name it - add the word secret, and you've just slobbered intrigue all over it. If I called it my "less-than-inspiring average sauce," perhaps fewer people would inquire after its composition.

In any case, I keep a bottle of it around because its very versatile as a salad dressing or marinade or bread dip. Just like Secret deodorant, this sauce is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. Or a man. Unlike the deodorant, however, you should not use this on your body. I just did (by accident, mind you), and it's not that fun. The nozzle on the bottle got clogged with a piece of garlic, so I squeezed it... hard. The clog shot out along with a whole mess of sauce that splashed all over the kitchen - the floor, the walls - and my face. Moral: I don't know, but try not to splash yourself in the face with sauce.

My Secret Sauce (salad dressing, marinade, etc)

Put away that goopy bottled dressing with all the glycerol and chemical stabilizers! Make your own in one easy step. Makes 1 cup.

- 1 tbs dijon mustard
- 1 tsp oregano
- 1 tsp thyme
- 1 tsp black pepper
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp lemon juice
- 3 fresh garlic cloves, pressed
- 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
- 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1. Whisk together all ingredients and refrigerate in a bottle. Ta-da!
2. Spill it all over your face and kitchen. NO. Don't do this.

Okay, so what is a sauce without something to put it on? Here, I use it to marinate chicken cutlets, and then brown them quickly to make a caramel-like balsamic coating. A boost of garlic helps to round out the savoriness. This is a stupidly fast weeknight dish that pairs well with a simple pasta, like fettuccine with fresh dill.

"Carmelized" Garlic Chicken with Parmesan-Dill Fettuccine

Serves 2 on a budget!

- 1 large boneless chicken breast
- 1/4 cup of my secret sauce
- 2 cloves of garlic, pressed
- salt and pepper
- 2 tbs olive oil
- 1/2 lb fettuccine
- 1/4 cup chopped fresh dill
- grated Parmesan cheese for passing

1. Pat chicken dry with paper towels and trim excess fat and rib meat. Halve chicken breast into cutlets and pound them flat under plastic wrap. Salt liberally and combine with sauce, cover, and refrigerate for at least 10 minutes.
2. Bring a large sauce pot of water to a boil, salt thoroughly, and add fettuccine.
3. Heat 1 tbs oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. When the oil is hot, add garlic and stir for about a minute.
4. Lay chicken onto garlic and oil. Brown on each side, about 2 minutes per side.
5. Drain pasta, stir in 1 tbs olive oil, salt, pepper, and dill. Serve immediately with parmesan and chicken.

Only 30 minutes to success... Now go wipe the sauce off your face.

Insert "challah" joke here

2008-08-27T16:50:00.005-04:00

Four in the afternoon rolls around and I sit down to take my peaceful afternoon tea and... french toast. Why? BECAUSE I CAN, and you can too. Here's a scaling recipe, one that's good for one person, or twenty million people, just multiply the ingredients linearly. It's sure to work. In any case, if you want to have superb, crunchy, eggy, squishy, sweet french toast all by yourself and not have to invite anybody, then this recipe is for you! This is also recipe #2 in my book using cornflakes.

"Crunchy on the outside, squishy in the middle" Cornflake-Coated Challah French Toast

For 1, or more! Just multiply!

- 2 thick slices of challah or brioche
- 1 egg
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 tsp sugar
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1/2 tsp nutmeg
- 1/2 cup cornflakes
- 1 tbs butter
- plenty of powdered sugar and maple syrup

1. Thoroughly crush the cornflakes in a ziplock bag, then spread them on a dish.
2. Melt butter in a skillet over medium while whisking together the egg, milk, sugar, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
3. When the butter is foamy, swirl around to coat the pan evenly. Dunk each slice in the batter, then press each side into the cornflakes to coat. Toss in the pan and fry until browned on each side, about 2-3 minutes per side. And... SCARF! Oh, wait, powdered sugar and syrup too.

There you have it. If you're fast enough, no one will even know. And between the two of us, nobody knows I ate the whole thing, OK? Good.

So Saucy

2008-08-24T20:12:00.015-04:00

As of yet, nobody has bought me a pasta maker. So for my next culinary adventure... I go to the Italian market and buy some shrimp ravioli for a romantic dinner. Even though shopping your way to gourmet success is not very suave, this silky tomato cream sauce is certainly sexy enough for the occasion.

Shrimp Ravioli with Enchanting[ly easy to make so you can spend more time worrying about your hair] Tomato Cream Sauce

AKA The Vodkaless Vodka Sauce [so you can allocate those resources elsewhere]

Sauces 4 servings of pasta... But you will probably just need 2 for now...

- Shrimp or lobster ravioli (I invite you to make your own)
- 2 cups canned crushed tomatoes
- 1 firm tomato (yellow tomatoes are nice for this), cored, seeded, and diced fine
- 1/2 cup cream
- 2 tbs butter
- 2 tbs tomato paste
- 1 small onion, diced fine
- 3 cloves garlic, pressed (more if garlic is not so fresh, up to 5)
- 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
- 1 bay leaf
- 1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
- salt and pepper

1. Melt butter in a medium saucepan until foamy, then add onions, pinch of salt, red pepper flakes, and bay leaf. Saute on medium until onions are soft, 7-8 minutes. (This will smell fabulous.)
2. Add garlic and briefly saute until aromatic, about 1 minute, then stir in tomato paste and saute until the mixture begins to brown, about 3 minutes.
3. Pour in crushed tomatoes and simmer on low for about 30 minutes, stirring periodically, at which the sauce should thicken substantially.
4. Bring a large pot of water to boil, salt it thoroughly, and boil the ravioli until tender, about 4-6 minutes, depending, then drain, reserving about 1/2 cup of pasta water.
5. Stir basil, cream, and about 1/2 cup of pasta water into the sauce. Season with salt and pepper. Serve pasta with sauce and garnish with diced tomato. That's amore!

Hakuna Frittata

2008-08-24T10:23:00.007-04:00

Sweet Holland bell peppers were unusually affordable at the market this week so I decided to take home several and make a colorful frittata. This baked omelet is fun for Sunday morning, but is equally good any time of day, even cold. It's easiest if you can find a 12" oven-safe nonstick omelet pan, but if you have a well-seasoned cast iron skillet that will work just fine.

Colorful Bell Pepper Frittata

Serves ~4

- 6 eggs
- 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
- 2-3 small colored bell peppers, cored and seeded, cut into 1/8"-thick rings
- 1 tbs olive oil
- salt and pepper
- balsamic vinegar

1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Heat oil in pan (see note above on pan choice) over medium heat while beating eggs with cheese and a pinch of salt and pepper.
2. Turn eggs into pan when oil is hot. Press bell pepper rings into the omelet in a sassy pattern of your cheesing, er, choosing. Continue to cook until bottom is set, about 3-5 minutes, then transfer skillet to oven.
3. Check every few minutes. When top has just set, about 10 minutes, remove from oven and slide frittata onto a cutting surface. Cut and serve with a drizzle of balsamic vinegar.

Colorful and delicious.

Small Vegetable Showdown down down down

2008-08-23T21:09:00.009-04:00

This Saturday: Seven Vegetables... One Cast Iron Skillet... and we're Turning Up the Heat (to 450 F, to be exact)! Who will be on top after half an hour of roasting? Only one will survive! (Actually I hope that's not true as I would like to eat all of them, please!) Watch as their legacy continues in a rich pan gravy. (This introduction was inspired this post about fuzzy bunnies on Cute Overload.)

When it comes to planning a vegetarianesque dinner, I'm hopelessly an omnivore in the way I go about it: I have a roast and some potatoes and gravy. Sounds good, but wouldn't it make more sense with a pork tenderloin or something? In any case, there are so many nice late summer vegetables that they are just dying to be roasted to a nice caramel finish. Still, I'll be damned if I'll go hungry after eating some damned plate of plants, so I made sure to throw down a heap of Parmesan mashed potatoes and deglaze the roasting pan to make a vegetable gravy with shallots and parsley.

Roasted Vegetables with Nice Gravy (sorry about the dumb name)

Serves ~4

- 2-3 lbs of your favorite robust veggies, cut into 1 to 2 inch pieces.
I used: red onion, squash, zucchini, baby eggplant, broccolini, carrot, cauliflower.
- 2 tbs olive oil
- salt and pepper
- 1 shallot, minced
- 1/4 cup chopped parsley
- 1 cup vegetable stock (I invite you to make your own)
- 1 tbs butter, softened
- 1 tbs flour

1. Preheat oven to 450 F. Toss vegetables with olive oil, salt, and pepper in a large cast iron skillet or roasting pan. Roast for 30-45 minutes, turning every 10 minutes, until vegetables are softened and browned (and oh so sweet and delicious).
2. Set aside vegetables and bring pan to stove top. Pour out all but 1 tbs of remaining oil in pan. Saute shallots on medium until soft, about 3-4 minutes.
3. Add stock, bring to a boil, and use a wooden spoon to scrape the pan and stir. Reduce to about 1/2 volume.
4. Reduce heat to low. Knead together butter and flour (congrats, you've just made beurre manie), and stir it into the gravy bit by bit until sauce is rich and thick. Remove from heat, stir in parsley, and serve with potatoes.

Parmesan Mashed Potatoes

Serves ~4

- 3 lbs yukon gold potatoes
- 4 tbs butter, softened
- 1 cup milk
- 1 cup grated parmesan cheese.
- salt and pepper

1. Peel and quarter potatoes and add to a stock pot with enough water to cover an inch over the top of the potatoes. Bring to a boil and continue to boil until a fork easily goes through (the potatoes, that is).
2. Drain potatoes, return to the pot, and mash. Stir in butter, milk, and cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve, and go nuts.

Rich and concentrated in sweet flavor and hot and satisfying right out of the oven, the vegetables have an attitude that says, "Who are you calling 'side dish'?" They are effortless to make, truly needing no enhancement to their flavor. After my second plateful with potatoes and such, I realized "This ain't no damned plate of plants! I'm stuffed!"

Still, I'm not sure roasted vegetables is necessarily an "entree" for the omnivore. For me, playing vegetable dress-up with potatoes and gravy is fun... but I am still waiting to try that more "serious" pork tenderloin recipe.

Juxtaposition Week Continues!

2008-08-22T15:55:00.005-04:00

Pears fried in olive oil with sharp white cheddar. Sweet and aromatic meets creamy and tangy. Here's how it breaks down: first you'll sift through caramelized fruitiness of the pear, and then as you move into the soft chew, the tanginess of the cheddar will rise out and make you smile. On some I've drizzled honey and on others balsamic vinaigrette for two different takes. This is not a real dish, this is just something to eat for fun. (And no, I wasn't high when I came up with it.)

Fried Pears with White Cheddar

Serves 2-4 depending on whether you or your friends end up liking it or not.

- 1 bosc pear
- 2 tbs extra light olive oil
- sharp white cheddar, sliced 1/4" thick
- honey (if desired)
- balsamic vinaigrette (if desired)

1. Halve pears, and using a melon baller, remove center and stem line. Slice into 1/4" thick slices.
2. Heat oil in a large skillet until a drop of water spatters instantly. Fry pear slices on each side until browned, 3-5 minutes each side.
3. Remove pears to paper towel-lined plate. Allow to cool enough to handle, then plate with cheese and drizzle sparingly if desire with honey or balsamic vinaigrette.
4. Sit around eating this with your friends and share confused looks.

Kick out the Jams!

2008-08-22T14:46:00.004-04:00

There is a group of about 5 people who grew up in the 50s (my father is one) who claim there was "this thing" called a "jelly omelet" that they used to "eat all the time." ... *flashing big skeptical look* ... Jelly omelet, you say?

It's not the worst idea in the world if you think of an omelet kind of like a crepe with no flour, if that makes any sense (which it doesn't). I did some cursory background research and turned up someone who said they (the omelets, that is) would sometimes be dusted with powdered sugar. While this seemed revolting at first to a person who'd never eat an egg without salt and pepper, the idea of a sweet omelet began to grow in my mind.

I read about a *famous* James Beard recipe for scrambled eggs in which he cooks them slowly for 30 minutes and they become gloriously smooth and custard-like (or so he claims - I've never tried it). So, rather than flipping the omelet and cooking it on both sides, I cooked it slowly on low heat, covered, to develop a more delicate, custard-like texture. While the idea of runny eggs and jelly seemed at first kind of weird, I decided to err on that side rather than the far worse dried and rubbery side. Lastly, worrying that one flavor of jelly would get kind of monotonous, I opted for three instead.

Variety Jelly Omelet

Makes 1 special and unique creation

- 2 eggs
- 1/2 tbs butter
- 1 tbs whole milk or cream
- 1 tbs each of three jams, marmalades, or jellies
- powdered sugar for dusting
- PUT AWAY THE SALT AND PEPPER (I know it's hard... *cry*)

1. Beat together eggs and milk/cream in a small bowl until well-mixed.
2. Melt butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat until foamy, then swirl to evenly coat.
3. Pour in eggs and tilt pan so that a nice circle is made (this will naturally happen if your pan is 10" or less). When the eggs are just beginning to solidify on the bottom, about 2 minutes, turn heat to low and cover.
4. When the eggs are mostly solid but the very top is just slightly liquid, slide the omelet onto a cutting board and cut into thirds (haha have fun).
5. On one side of each wedge, spread 1 tbs jelly/jam, then fold over, plate, dust with sugar, and serve immediately.

It worked very well and was very similar to a sweet crepe with fruit filling. I used blackberry, strawberry-peach, and raspberry, and strawberry-peach was the runaway victor for me. The flavor variety was a plus, as was the sweet, custard-like quality to the eggs. I haven't talked to all five people that swear they were "a thing" when they were growing up, but I'm pretty sure they (the omelets, that is) weren't this sexy in the 50s.

Partly cheesy with a chance of soup.

2008-08-21T12:32:00.004-04:00

The first time I had grilled cheese and tomato soup was at camp. I want to stand up and claim that I still like Kraft Singles on burnt bread with knock-off industrial-grade Campbell's, just the way I first had it. ... Okay, so maybe I like it better this way.

I say keep it simple, but give me a slice of beefsteak tomato and red onion. I'm fine with American cheese: sharp Vermont cheddar and soft Monterrey Jack. The tomato soup is a "creamy" recipe that substitutes bread blended into the soup for cream. It's so-so. Dunk in a grilled cheese sandwich... then you really have something.

"Skillet BBQ" Chicken... Pizza... Bagel?

2008-08-21T09:35:00.009-04:00

No BBQ, no problem! Not really. Kind of like "Oven-fried corn flake chicken," which was not really a substitute for real fried chicken, I'm not sure how much this actually tastes like BBQ chicken. On the other hand, BBQ chicken is sort of a CA thing. After living in TX for however many years, I've come to understand the slow smoked brisket as the essence of real BBQ. In any case, if you are looking for a sweet and smoky, lacquered-on BBQ finish on your chicken without the outdoor grill, you should give this a taste. You'll have to bring your own grill marks, though.

Skillet-Barbecued Chicken

Makes 4 chicken breasts.

- 4 chicken breasts
- 1/2 cup BBQ sauce (I invite you to make your own)
- 1 tsp coriander
- 1 tsp cumin
- 2 tsp pepper
- 1 tsp paprika
- 1/2 tsp nutmeg
- 2 tsp kosher salt

1. Butterfly chicken breasts while heating a well-seasoned cast iron skillet, dry, to searing hot.
2. Combine salt, pepper, and spices, and rub into chicken.
3. Two at a time, sear chicken on each side for about 2 minutes, then remove from pan and rest while cooking others.
4. Thickly brush on bbq sauce, then return to pan. Sear both sides until beginning to blacken, about 1-2 minutes each side. Serve immediately (with some potato salad and cole slaw, say) or use for further recipes (see below).

You may be asking, where are you going with this? Well, I was reading my friend's food blog (here), and Chez Panisse was mentioned - a Berkeley restaurant credited with, among other things, inventing BBQ chicken pizza (yes, it really is a a CA thing). My fondness for the old CA days was coming back, and I suddenly had a strange remembrance of a commercial I saw when I was young that had a profound effect on me: "With pizza on a bagel, you can have pizza any time." Did you say pizza... any time?

BBQ Chicken Pizza on a Bagel

Makes 4 half-bagels (lunch for 2 or snacks for 4-6)

1 skillet-barbecued chicken breast, diced (about 1/4 cup)
1/4 cup diced red onion
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
1/8 cup grated paremsan
2 bagels, halved (you can get crazy with the bagels, if desired)
1/4 cup bbq sauce
minced cilantro for garnish (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 450 F. spoon 1 tbs bbq sauce onto each bagel half, followed 1 tbs each of chicken and red onion. Top with 2 tbs of mozzarella and 1/2 tbs of parmesan.
2. Bake until cheese is bubbly hot, about 10 minutes. Allow to cool for 1-2 minutes, then divide and serve, anointing with cilantro if desired.

To recap, skillet-bbq chicken is not real bbq chicken, and bbq chicken pizza on a bagel is not real bbq chicken pizza. But it's hot and chewy and sweet and filling, so who cares! (I got so emotional I began my sentence with a coordinating conjunction. Remember FANBOYS?) It may be rather low-brow compared to Chez Panisse, but for me, this is a snack that's worth the fuss, and you can have it "any time."

Cook's Illustrated "Quick Tips" Ratings

2008-08-20T22:47:00.006-04:00

I'm so happy when I get my new Cook's Illustrated every other month. I open it up, flip past the Prairie Home Companion-esque editorial from the "a-dork-able" editor, Christopher Kimball, skip over the letters to the editor, and just when I think I might hit some recipes - BAM - "Quick Tips!" from the readers, just waiting to suck. Let's see how they stack up.

"Removing Corn Silk. Susan Asanovic of Wilton, Conn., found a no-fuss way to remove the long, clingy strands of silk from ears of corn. Holding the corn under cool running water, she uses a clean, firm-bristled toothbrush to brush off the silk. The toothbrush can be cleaned in the dishwasher and used repeatedly."
In theory, this doesn't seem like such a horrible idea. Why not waste a toothbrush to do something slightly faster than you could easily do with your hands? (After all, the toothbrush is reusable!) The problem is that the mere thought of you (or a confused house-guest) using the corn-filled toothbrush by accident makes my gums cry in silent pain. It would be like cramming a dozen cobs worth of crap into your teeth all at once. It probably wouldn't happen, though, unless you are in the habit of brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink. Still... B-.

"Cleaning Up Spills. Minor spills are a frequent occurrence in most kitchens. Roman Lasek of Berkeley, Calif., offers the following trick for keeping counters tidy. Use the small rimmed baking sheet from a toaster oven as a miniature dust pan, holding the pan under the edge of the counter and sweeping spilled food onto it for disposal."
When Roman wrote this one in, I don't see why Christopher Kimball himself didn't write back to personally say, "Mr. Lasek, why the @#$%ing @#$% would you use your baking sheet as a dust pan when you could just use a dust pan?" Furthermore, what are you going to use in your toaster oven now? Fail.

"Impromptu Pan Lid. Finding himself short of lids to fit his skillets and saute pans, Greg Evans of Jericho N.Y., created a clever stand-in. Cover a splatter screen with two layers of aluminum foil, then place it on top of the skillet."
This is actually a great idea. A lot of skillets don't come with lids, and lids for larger sizes are often hard to find or expensive. I've used sheets of foil in a pinch, but this is a good way to get even coverage. Not very stylish, but effective. Now I just need to get a splatter screen... A-.

"Securing Electric Cords. Marnie Drager of San Bernadino, Calif., found an inexpensive way to neatly contain appliance cords on her kitchen counter. Bundle the cord, then feed it into an empty cardboard toilet paper roll."
I guess you could use a zip-tie, but a toilet paper roll? I don't mean to be sophomoric, Marnie, but if I walked into your kitchen and saw an empty toilet paper roll on the counter, I may be inclined to think someone was using your kitchen as a potty. That's gross. "Marnie! We're out of TP in the kitchen!" C-.

"Saving Leftover Wine. Recorking a wine bottle to preserve leftovers can be a challenge if the cork no longer fits into the neck of the bottle. Dwight Collin or Pittsford, N.Y., uses his Microplane grater to shave off a portion of the cork so that it can easily be reinserted."
Round peg, round hole. Not that hard. Just stuff it back in. More importantly, why is there leftover wine? That's your problem right there. D.

"Just Enough Wine for Cooking. When a recipe requires only a small amount of wine, Michael Pignotti of Tinley Park, Ill., doesn't always want to uncork a whole bottle. He solves the problem by keeping four-packs of miniature bottles of red and white wine on hand."
Right off the bat, someone needs to introduce Michael here to Dwight, because he has a great trick on saving leftover wine. In all seriousness, though, Michael, the answer is not to get smaller bottles... it's to drink more. C+.

These "insightful remarks" always remind me of an ancient and famously mocked article on the video game in Doom featured in Electronic Gaming Monthly. It said: "PROTIP: To defeat the Cyberdemon, shoot at it until it dies." Thanks. No really, thanks.

Keep it simple.

2008-08-20T22:27:00.007-04:00

Sometimes its all right to spend the extra dollar for the ugly ripe tomato, and break out the nice balsamic and the nice parmiggiano... With good ingredients it's always best to keep things as simple as possible.

Savory + Sweet = Delicious Meat

2008-08-20T11:02:00.000-04:00

Pork and fruit is a classic combination. Here, I pan sear pork chops to develop a brown crust and top them with sautéed peaches in a balsamic reduction. The peaches and the sauce are matched for bold sweetness and slight pungency, and they are well suited for a richer cut, like a rib chop. On the side, rich and hearty garlic mashed potatoes soak up the juices and fill the belly. Although it requires some attention not to overcook, the pork chops are relatively simply and conservative in ingredients for how audaciously flavorful they are.

A couple gear notes: I've never had success using meat thermometers with thinner pork chops, and I find a knife stab test is much more accurate. Aim for a pink center. Also, avoid using a nonstick pan to fry the pork chops, otherwise there won't be much to deglaze when you make the sauce.

Pork Chops with Peaches and Balsamic Glaze

Serves 4

4 bone-in rib or center-cut pork chops
1 firm peach
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar (this is a lot! don't use the good stuff!)
1 tbs olive oil
1 tbs canola oil
salt and pepper

1. Halve peach by slicing it around once, then twisting it apart. Use a melon baller to remove the pit by scooping over and under it. Sliver the halves into 1/4 inch sections.
2. Heat olive oil in a nonstick skillet until shimmering. Fry peaches on each side until vibrant in color and beginning to brown, about 3 minutes per side. Remove to paper towel-lined plate and set aside.
3. Pat pork chops dry, trim excess fat, and liberally season both sides with salt and pepper.
4. Heat canola oil in a large skillet until shimmering, then sear pork chops until browned on each side, about 4 minutes per side. For thicker chops, continue to cook, but reduce heat and cover. Continue until a knife test in the thickest part reveals only slight pinkness in the center. Move chops to a plate to rest and tent with foil.
5. Pour vinegar into pan and use a spoon to scrape up bits and residues stuck to the pan, stirring continuously. Reduce and stir until some of the harsh vinegar fumes have burnt off and the stuck-on bits are fully incorporated, about 3 minutes. Add peaches and accumulated juices from the resting pork chops and continue to reduce for another 3 minutes. Spoon peaches and glaze over pork chops and serve immediately.

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Makes 4 modest servings

3 lbs yukon gold potatoes
3/4 cup milk
3 tbs butter, softened and divided
3 tbs sour cream
1 head garlic
3 cloves garlic, pressed (or more if garlic is not fresh, up to 5 cloves)
salt and pepper

0. Preheat oven to 350 F. Peel away the papery parts from one head of garlic and slice off the top so that the tips of all the cloves are exposed. Loosely wrap in a foil and bake until completely soft, about 1 hour. Allow to cool. Working from the bottom, squeeze the cloves out into a cup.
1. Wash and partially peel the potatoes. Cut into 2" pieces and place in a large pot. Rinse the potatoes three times, then fill with water to cover 1" over the top of the potatoes.
2. Bring pot to a boil, and continue boiling until potatoes are completely tender to a fork stab, about 15 minutes.
3. Drain potatoes in a colander, then return to the pot. Stir in roasted garlic, raw garlic, butter, and sour cream until fully mixed. Stir in milk until smooth, add salt and pepper to taste, and serve or cover.

Crunch week continues.

2008-08-19T09:47:00.000-04:00

Crunchy, cheesy breadsticks need no introduction. They are just the sort of thing that your parents warned you against. "Don't fill up on bread! I'm not paying $50 per person for you to eat bread." Well, now you can have them at home, and no one will stop you if you eat a whole loaf's worth. Makes a great appetizer at a dinner party because a) it is stupidly easy to make and b) it's hard not to like. Just don't let anyone fill up on them.

How can you take them to the next level? A creamy, spicy, garlic dip. I've had people that swear to hate mayo go dip after dip in this aioli. If you've never made mayonnaise at home, it's completely different than the bottle stuff, and you will find yourself using it for so many things... sandwiches, french fries, fresh or blanched vegetables, poached shrimp, etc, etc, etc.

Parmesan-Herb Breadsticks

Serves 2-4 as an appetizer

- 3-4 large slices of crusty italian white bread, cut lengthwise into 1/2 inch wide planks
- 2 tbs olive oil
- 2 tsp kosher salt
- 2 tsp pepper
- 3 tsp oregano
- 2 tbs grated Parmesan (supermarket bag stuff is fine)

1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Toss bread sticks with olive oil on a nonstick baking sheet.
2. Sprinkle bread sticks with salt, pepper, and oregano. Cover liberally with Parmesan cheese.
3. Bake until golden brown, about 10 minutes. Serve warm.

Spicy Paprika Aioli

Makes about 1.5 cups

- 1 cup olive oil, or a blend of olive and canola oils (extra virgin olive oil will produce a creamier, saucier texture, whereas lighter oils will make it fluffier)
(Also note: this is a lot. Don't use the expensive stuff.)
- 1 large, fresh egg
- 3 cloves garlic, pressed (use more if garlic is not fresh, but not more than 5 cloves)
- 1 tbs dijon mustard
- 2 tbs lemon juice (alternatively use 1 tbs lemon juice and 1 tbs cider vinegar)
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 tsp pepper
- 1 tsp paprika
- 1/2 tsp cayenne

1. Combine egg, mustard, lemon juice, and 1 tbs of oil in the container of a food processor. Pulse until well mixed.
2. While continuously mixing, slowly dribble in remainder of oil. When almost through, the food processor will begin to rattle as the texture of the mix will change. (I've done this whisking by hand before, but it's so much easier in a food processor.)
3. Add garlic, salt, pepper, paprika, and cayenne, and pulse until well mixed.
4. Remove to a sealable container and refrigerate prior to serving, if desired.

If you are making them for guests, I recommend you come in and eat one before they're all gone.

Crunchy chicken...& Waffles?!

2008-08-18T10:24:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah I went there. After the last entry, there was only one logical place to go. If you have not gotten down with fried chicken and waffles (and syrup over everything), all I can say is that you are missing out. Salty and sweet, crunchy and soft, breakfast and dinner - every great culinary duality in one heart-stopping (!) dish.

HOWEVER: FRIED CHICKEN PURISTS BEWARE (**spoilers warning**). If you are offended by the concept of "oven-fried" chicken (gasp), or removing the chicken skin (double gasp), or using no saturated fat (did he just say that?), stop reading right not and hurry down to Popeye's. Many people believe that all you need for fried chicken is flour and shortening. I am not here to argue with that.

Nonetheless, I was intrigued by this recipe in Cook's Country, a magazine published by the same editor as Cook's Illustrated. You can get a sense for the Cook's Country target audience because every recipe begins with "When my husband comes home, he likes a big meal..." or "My son just became vegetarian and I don't know WHAT to do..." ... You get the idea. Anyway, this was just the kind of magazine to see a recipe for chicken that used breakfast cereal as an ingredient.

Oven-fried corn flake chicken (cribbed from Cook's Country)

Makes 4 large chicken breasts. If you can eat all of it, I will not judge you - the other day I saw a woman eat two family-sized plates of noodles at the York St Noodle House. Feel free to try this with other chicken pieces, noting appropriate changes in cooking time.

- 4 large bone-in skinless chicken breasts, ribs trimmed off with kitchen shears or that giant cleaver you bought at the Chinese grocery
- 1 cup buttermilk
- 1 tsp hot sauce
- 1 clove garlic, pressed
- 2 tsp salt
- 2 tsp pepper
- 1 tsp poultry seasoning (= sage, thyme, crushed bay leaf)
- 1/2 tsp paprika
- 1/2 tsp cayenne
- 1 1/2 cup crushed corn flakes
- 1 cup bread crumbs
- 1 tbs canola oil

1. Whisk buttermilk, hot sauce, garlic, 1 tsp salt, and 1 tsp pepper in a large bowl. Submerge chicken in liquid, cover, and refrigerate - marinate for at least one hour.
2. Preheat oven to 400 F. Cover a baking sheet with foil and set a wire rack in it. Coat the rack with nonstick cooking spray.
3. Toss bread crumbs, corn flakes, 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp pepper, poultry seasoning, cayenne, paprika, and oil. Lay out on a plate.
4. One piece at a time, take the chicken breasts out of the buttermilk and dredge them in the corn flake mixture, pressing it firmly to the chicken to adhere, then set them carefully on the rack.
5. Bake chicken until internal temperature reaches 155 F, about 45 minutes, then allow to stand for 5 minutes before serving.

Aunt Jemima buttermilk waffles

OK, I hear what your saying, "It says it right on the box." Maybe you could read this and reminisce about the last time you made waffles, and then we could all share as a group. Or not.

It says it makes eight small waffles, but really it makes 2 normal size waffles.

1 cup Aunt Jemima original pancake mix (= enriched flour, sugar, leavening, salt)
3/4 buttermilk
1 egg
2 tbs canola oil

1. For convenience, combine everything in a 2 qt pyrex measuring cup with pouring spout. Stir until well-mixed but still quite lumpy. Let stand for at least 5 minutes while preheating the waffle iron.
2. When it is hot, spray down the waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray and pour half the batter into the middle.
3. My waffle iron beeps when it's done. Then I can hear that it's time to eat. Mmm..

As you can see, I could not stand to look at such a beautiful, untouched plate of food long enough to snap a picture. You can get an idea, I hope, of the majesty (but please ignore the sweet tea accompanying it because it was awful). As for the chicken itself, the nice thing about baking is that, with a meat thermometer, you can achieve perfect juiciness every time - and this was no exception. On the other hand, though, no one would bite into it and say "Good golly this is some FRIED chicken." No. While it is indeed crunchy as advertised, the crunchy coating falls off quite readily. When scooped up again, however, with some syrup and chicken bits and buttery waffle, I'm immediately taken back to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, The Breakfast Klub, etc.

Edit: I think I ate too much.

Crunchy... Chicken...

2008-08-17T11:25:00.000-04:00

Theoretically, I like chicken piccata: tender pounded chicken, so easy to consume, dressed up with a tart and salty sauce. I never end up ordering it in a restaurant, though, because there seems to be something facile about hitting a chicken with a hammer - I'd rather get something I'd be unlikely to make at home, like, now that I'm in New Haven, brick oven pizza. Also, I watched TV when I was young, and from KFC commercials, I learned one thing about America when it comes to chicken: we like it crunchy. Two words that go together magically... Crunchy.... Chicken... mmm. Not "breaded and fried" ... crunchy.

For a really crispy coating, fresh bread crumbs are key. I like to use slices from a fresh, crusty Italian loaf and pulse them in a food processor until coarsely crumbled. To keep the cutlets from getting soggy, I used a more buttery and concentrated sauce instead of a more soupy sauce with broth and wine. I also avoided these ingredients because I didn't want to spend a lot of time reducing in the pan while the cutlets lost their fresh crispness.

The fried-ness needed a lighter and fresher partner to liven things up, so, in an effort to use up some old tomatoes, I turned to a penne caprese recipe that I adapted from Cook's Illustrated. This recipe taught me a handy trick for brightening and freshening the flavor of aging tomatoes: marinate them with sugar and lemon juice to bring back the sweetness and tartness of fine fresh tomatoes. This simple pasta dish with basil, tomatoes, and fresh mozzarella, resembles a warm pasta salad.

Crunchy chicken with lemon-caper sauce

Serves 2-4 depending on how hungry you are. For recipe doubling, fry cutlets in batches or in two pans, making sauce in one of the pans.

- 4 chicken cutlets
- 2 tsp lemon juice
- 1 tbs butter
- 1 tbs olive oil
- 3 tbs canola oil
- 4 large slices of italian-style white bread, torn into 1-inch pieces
- 1/2 tsp dried sage
- 1/2 tsp dried oregano
- 1/2 tsp dried thyme
- salt and pepper
- 1 egg
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 tsp capers, rinsed and chopped
- 1 small shallot, minced
- 1/4 cup chopped parsley (if desired, not included here)

1. Pat cutlets dry with paper towels. Pound them flat (if desired - this is so they cook quickly and evenly and are more tender, but some cutlets are already cut very flat and even, and I think a little chew is always a plus). Season both sides with salt and pepper.
2. Pulse bread into coarse crumbs in a food processor. Toss with sage, oregano, and thyme, and spread on a plate
3. Whisk egg and milk in a bowl.
4. Heat canola oil in a large skillet until shimmering. One by one, coat each cutlet in egg mixture, then dredge in bread crumbs, pressing them firmly to adhere, then lay them in the oil.
5. Fry cutlets until browned on each side, about 3 minutes each side, then set aside on a plate.
6. Reduce heat, add olive oil to the pan and saute shallots until tender, about 2 minutes (Try not to be an idiot like me - reduce the heat first so you don't fry the shallots to a crisp! Even through fried shallots are quite good, it's not what I was aiming for.)
7. Remove from heat, stir in butter, lemon juice and capers (and parsley, if using), apply sauce to cutlets, and serve immediately.

Penne Caprese (adapted from C.I.)
Note: This is a half recipe. Serves 4 as a side dish.

- 4 large tomatoes, cored and seeded, chopped
- 1/2 tsp sugar
- 1 tsp lemon juice
- 2 tbs olive oil
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp pepper
- a small handful of basil leaves, chopped (roughly 1/4 cup)
- 1 fresh mozzarella, cubed
- additional salt and pepper to taste
- 1/2 lb penne

1. Toss tomatoes with sugar, lemon juice, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Marinate while preparing pasta.
2. Put mozzarella cubes (back) in the fridge to cool.
(This is so that, when all combined, the mozzarella does not instantly melt into a large, depressing blob. High-quality fresh mozzarella will [theoretically] not do this because fresh cheese curds to not melt easily, c.f. feta, queso fresco, etc, but if you are less than confident, you should freeze or at least refrigerate for 10 minutes prior to combining.)
3. Bring a pot of water to boil, salt it, and add the pasta. Cook until tender, about 10 minutes, then drain.
4. Combine tomatoes, pasta, mozzarella, and basil, adding salt and pepper as you see fit. Serve warm.

In my opinion, the chicken is best consumed as quickly as possible to appreciate the maximal crispness. No matter how perfectly fried, all fried things become soggy while resting (a sad fact that has disappointed many excited french fry eaters) invariant of how many tricks you have up your sleeve (e.g. cornstarch, multiple frying temperatures, etc.). If you use good crusty bread as a a coating, it holds its crunch for quite a while. The pasta is very nice the next day and makes a good cool pasta salad. And by "the next day," I mean "an hour after dinner."

A tale of two meat sauces.

2008-08-16T19:31:00.000-04:00

If you know me at all - and if you are reading this then chances are that you do - you know that I am not Italian. That is to say that, for the purposes of this blog, the words "authentic" and "traditional" really have no meaning for me when it comes to Italian food. Nonetheless, when my stomach leads me in the direction of meat sauce (as it so often does), I find myself at a crossroads of two traditions. The "new world" Italian-style meat sauce, often derided by snotty-nosed cooking magazines as being merely chewy hamburger in an uninspired tomato puree, is indispensable as a true comfort food - simply made and predictably satisfying. The "old world" sauce (as I understand it) is a laborious affair, taking at least three hours to make, but rewarding in its profoundly savory flavor and tender, buttery texture.

I've made the simpler version a few times: brown a pound of ground chuck in a skillet with some garlic, salt and pepper, and maybe some oregano, and add to a can of crushed tomatoes. Simmer together - maybe with some basil leaves - until you are too hungry to go on. Perhaps it does sound a little crude. In any case, I did some homework and made my own recipe for an authentic-style sauce based on the often underscored tenets of a true ragu bolognese, which blend both theory and tradition:

1. Start with a flavor base of minced vegetables and pancetta (rather than garlic and spices) to begin with a well-rounded, smooth flavor.

2. DO NOT under any circumstances fully brown the meat before adding liquid! This toughens the meat and does not allow the flavor of it to fully meld with the sauce.

3. First cook the meat in dairy. This coats the particles of meat with albumin and lipids and (theoretically) protects flavor-producing compounds from acid-catalyzed degradation (e.g. in wine and tomatoes).

4. Next cook the meat in white wine. (Red wine completely overwhelms the sauce.) In addition to adding its own flavor, it (theoretically) helps to dissolve the connective tissues in the meat, tenderizing it further.

5. Finally (!! Are we impatient yet? I am hungry.) add tomato puree and cook for one to two hours. (Argh!)

Well, after collecting these bits of advice from teh interwebs, I made up some proportions and had a go at it. During the down time in the recipe, one has plenty of time to play around in the kitchen, so I also made some pan-fried vegetables with shallots and garlic. The vegetables add color, levity, and balance: savory browned cauliflower complements the meatiness of the sauce and garlicky bell peppers add brightness that punches through the mix.

I also had the chance to make, for an appetizer, some parmesan-herb bread sticks with spicy paprika aioli for dipping, which I'll describe in a later installment.

A note on pasta choices: Using advice from the National Pasta Association (srsly wtf!?) on pasta sauce pairings, I chose a large rigatoni, which carried the sauce nicely. It was especially nice when the rigatoni would become filled with the sauce, becoming like a meaty, pillowy ravioli. Also papardelle would be fun.

Rigatoni with "Traditional"-style (?) Bolognese sauce

- 1/2 lb ground chuck
- 1/2 lb ground pork
- one small carrot, peeled, diced
- one small celery rib, diced
- one half onion, diced
- 3 or 4 slices of pancetta, finely minced
- 2 tbs butter
- 2 tbs olive oil
- 3/4 cup whole milk
- 3/4 cup dry white wine
(I used Maison Nicolas Chardonnay Reserve 2006 on recommendation)
- 1 28 oz can whole peeled tomatoes
- salt and pepper to taste
- 1 lb rigatoni
- 1/2 cup shaved or grated Parmesan cheese for passing
(for this, you should spring for the imported shit)

0. Puree tomatoes and their juice in a blender or food processor, set aside.
1. Heat butter and olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat until butter foams and foam subsides. Pulse carrot, celery, and onion in a food processor until finely chopped. Saute vegetables and pancetta together until vegetables are tender, about 7 minutes.
2. Add beef and pork. Stir into vegetables with a wooden spoon, breaking up pieces, and cooking until meat begins to loose its pinkness.
3. Add milk and bring to a boil. Reduce heat a simmer, stirring periodically and breaking up meat, until almost all liquid is evaporated, about 20 minutes.
4. Add wine and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer, continuing to stir periodically and break apart meat , until all liquid is evaporated, about 20 minutes.
5. Add pureed tomatoes and simmer for one to two hours, stirring periodically and adding salt and pepper to taste.
6. Bring a large pot of water to boil, salt thoroughly, and add pasta. Boil until pasta is just tender, about 10 minutes, and drain in a colander, reserving some pasta water to adjust consistency of sauce, if necessary. Combine pasta and sauce and serve immediately, passing parmesan at the table.

Pan-fried Vegetables with Garlic and Shallots

- 1/2 head cauliflower, florets only, chopped
- 1 small head broccoli, florets only, chopped
- 1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
- 1/2 green bell pepper, chopped
- 1 small zucchini, cut into small wedges
- 1 small yellow squash, cut into small wedges
- 3 cloves of garlic, pressed
- one large shallot, minced
- 2 tbs olive oil
- salt and pepper to taste

1. Heat oil in a large skillet until shimmering. Add garlic and shallots and stir frequently until shallots are soft, about 2 minutes.
2. Add cauliflower and stir-fry until it begins to soften, about 5 minutes.
3. Add broccoli, squash, and zucchini and stir-fry until they begin to soften, about 5 minutes.
4. Add bell peppers, continuing to stir-fry until vegetables begin to brown, about 5 minutes.
5. Add salt and pepper to taste, and serve.

Was the sauce amazing? Rich and satisfying, hugging pasta tenderly and filling it with meaty delight? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!! Does it make me like the hamburger-sauce version less? Not at all. As if these things weren't silly enough, J. Kenji Alt (Cook's Illustrated) came up with yet a third version of the sauce that was designed to be as fast as hamburger sauce, but as deep and ponderous as the 3-hour version. I made this recipe, and after more than an hour of running around - mimicking the moist and broken-down meat by pulsing it in food processor with a panade, "bolstering the beefiness" by browning mushrooms and onions in tomato paste - I decided that if you're going to go all out - go all out and do the 3 hour version. There's no sense in resorting to wacky kitchen hijinx when what's most stunning about a sauce is its elegant simplicity - no herbs or spices or extended techniques - just many hours of simmering. It's kind of a fun, soothing way to spend an afternoon in the kitchen (unless, of course, like me, you are planning it for a dinner party and you get a flat tire on the way to the grocery store - then it's not so relaxing!).

In the end, two things became apparent to me. The first is that this is not supposed to be a heavy sauce. Despite it's meatiness, it should me smooth and tender, well-balanced and not overwhelming, almost light as it drapes over the pasta. The other thing is this: The Sauce Doesn't Flavor the Meat, the Meat Flavors the Sauce. I'll leave you with that thought.

Crab People...

2008-08-14T11:45:00.001-04:00

Having just moved to New England, Atlantic coast seafood is still novel and charming to me. I've had my fair enough share of mushy disappointments from the Gulf during my time there. More often than not, local catches from the Gulf were surprisingly limited to a few varietals of (albeit phenomenal) snapper and shrimp, with the majority of diverse options coming from China, Thailand, Vietnam, and Indonesia. Back in California, there were opportunities for good trout in upstate rivers, but so much of that available in big cities was farmed out of state, and most of the more exciting fish choices came from the northern pacific (e.g. Alaska) or South America and was excruciatingly expensive (thanks, LA). That being said, I intend to be easily impressed, so bear that in mind.

Blue crabs were in at the fish market down the street - alive and pinching. Never having cooked or eaten whole live crabs before, I fantasized as I bought them about a Woody Allen eventuality, cursing and chasing crabs around my kitchen with a broom handle. As such, I have no pictures of them alive and blue because I was entirely too determined to get them into the boiling water as fast as possible! Likely the cheapest lunch in a while, the crabs were $1.25 each; raised, however, from $1 last week.

(I've come to appreciate this market for its affordable fish and good selection. The week before I purchased a large cod fillet that had a satisfying firm and flaky texture and nice white color when baked. I followed an excellent recipe for breading and baking from a certain cooking magazine that proscribed thickening the batter with mayonnaise and flour to help coat the fish and hold to it bread crumbs, which were toasted prior with butter to develop a nice crunch. With the addition of a homemade tartar sauce, I'm sure to repeat this recipe.)

Honestly, after boiling the crabs - a straightforward alternative to steaming if you don't have the necessary hardware (hey, I'm still moving in!) - I had no idea how to pick them. Fortunately, YouTube was there to help. What I took away from one video, however, was that the most important thing was to drink plenty while eating the crabs, so I shipped out to pick up a nice Pouilly-Fuisse to stand up to the crabbiness - I trust Louis Latour.

Some live crabs have their claws rubber-banded... but these were rowdy, angry and did not want to be boiled alive. Can you blame them? I felt brief remorse, and my thoughts turned to the literary image of the moth as a metaphor to symbolize both the beauty and fragility of life. Just then, my tummy rumbled. Oh, well, one way or another they made it into the pot. Although I had some homemade tartar sauce left over, blue crab meat has enough richness to stand up without sauce or butter, and it is subtle enough not to need lemon to dull fishiness. As such, perhaps it's best to kick off this blog with a simple recipe.

Boiled Crab

- Live blue crabs, as many as you can fit in your largest pot.
(for example, 3 or 4 in a six quart pot)

1. Bring a large stock pot of water to a rolling boil. Salt the water, and one by one, lower the crabs into the water. Cook for 3-5 minutes, at which point the shells should turn deep red in color and the crabs unresponsive to prodding.
2. Remove and drain the crabs and lay out on butcher paper or newspaper. Remove the apron (shell flap on the belly) with a paring knife, then pull off the top shell. Rinse out the guts and rub off the gills. Then get to work picking out the rest!

Theoretically, you can get a cup of lump crab meat from each dozen crabs. If you wanted to make crab cakes this way, you would spend all day picking about two dozen crabs. More time than I have for crabs. On the whole, it's a messy affair and you pick out and and suck out what you can. While I was impressed with the smooth, silky texture of the meat and its rich but delicate flavor, I can't say I was fully sated afterward... but maybe it was the wine.